Suburban Timewaster

I play video games and review them.

Archive for the tag “virtual console”

Donkey Kong Jr. Math (Wii Shop)


Donkey Kong’s back and this time he’s teaching his son math. Can Junior master his father’s lessons?

After Donkey Kong 3, the makers decided it wasn’t stupid enough and decided to make a learning game. There is no plot in this and the whole purpose of the game play is to add, subtract, multiply and divide various numbers in order to reach the number Donkey Kong holds up. It shouldn’t be too hard if you’ve graduated from Elementary School. The numbers are scattered throughout the screen and you control Junior when you climb the vines to collect numbers. You also jump from platform to platform to collect the right signs.

This game is stupid and boring. I give it 0 out of 10; a horrible attempt at edutainment.

Donkey Kong 3 (Nintendo 3DS eShop)


Donkey Kong’s back and this time he’s tormenting a poor gardener named Stanley. Can Stanley keep Donkey Kong at bay while keeping insects from destroying his garden?

Is it just me, or did these plots go from manageable to incredibly stupid? What’s Donkey Kong doing harassing a gardener? I guess it was his day off and he didn’t have anything better to do.

Instead of your typical platform jumping, your primary concern is to spray the bugs and Donkey Kong. In order to get to the next level, you have to spray Donkey Kong enough so that he retreats to the very top. Keep playing, if you care about getting the high score. Since I didn’t, I stopped playing after a few levels. I’ll admit that spraying Donkey Kong consecutively was entertaining.

This game is stupid yet addictive. I give it 3 out of 10; once again, something to do when you’re bored.

Donkey Kong (Nintendo 3DS Shop)

When a mad ape terrorizes the city, he abducts a young girl named Pauline and brings her to the top of a construction tower. Can Mario save his girlfriend from Donkey Kong’s wrath?

This is the old arcade game that introduced not one but two of Nintendo’s iconic characters. This game is third in my Art of Video Games book and was the very first game to have a set plot. The game based its plot on the 1930s King Kong movie where an evil ape goes on a rampage in New York City and abducts the blonde leading lady. Before I get comments telling me that I’ve got it all wrong and King Kong is the good guy, I said that it was the 1930s version. King Kong didn’t become the good guy until the later remakes. This being an old arcade game, the plot is very simplistic and enforces gender stereotypes. The man’s the hero and the woman’s little more than a prize. I read an article once that said Donkey Kong was Mario’s pet ape that he abused. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any evidence to support that, so I’m going to leave that fact alone.

The game play is that of your typical classic arcade game. You jump through a construction site in order to get to the top and rescue Pauline. In the third stage, your job is to jump over small bits of the construction site so you can kill Donkey Kong once and for all. You can collect more points by jumping over barrels and collecting items on your way to rescue Pauline. Did I mention that you play the same three levels over and over? If you’re obsessed with getting the high score, go for it. As for me, as soon as I played those levels I was done. One more thing, if you buy the game on your 3DS, you can create restore points so you don’t have to start the game all over when you get a game over.

This game is simplistic yet slightly addictive. I give it 5 out of 10; something to do when you’re bored.

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