Suburban Timewaster

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The Breakfast Club Episode 4 Recap

A/N: After a long hiatus, I’m back with the next diary entry for Jasmine Ross, the Rebel!  Check her out on TUMBLR!

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Dear Diary,

It’s Saturday night and I’m feeling sorry for myself. Bender’s with Claire, not me and it’s not that hard to believe. Bender’s probably had a crush on Claire for months and I just recently showed up to school. Besides, he was hitting on Claire all through detention and I’m being an idiot to think that he’d set his sights on me. Maybe it’s better this way. Bender has his dream girl and I don’t have to worry about ending up like Mom. If it was better this way, then why did I feel like I wanted to cry? Thankfully, a phone call from Mom distracted me from my thoughts. First she told me about how sorry she was for yelling at me in the car and that she didn’t mean what she said. I told Mom that I know she didn’t and forgave her for her outburst. She wanted to know how it was going and I told her all about The Breakfast Club and Vernon giving me detention. Except I left out the parts about Vernon locking me in a single room, Bender getting locked in a nearby closet and my thing for Bender, even though he’s dating Claire. Turns out Mom actually knows Vernon, but she won’t tell me how! All she said was that he was this spoiled entitled brat she knew when she was younger and she won’t say exactly what happened. Mom changed the subject by getting all motherly, not happy to hear about why I got detention and wanting to give Vernon a piece of her mind, but I told her that it was okay. I told Mom that I could actually write a novel about all of this. Maybe even a whole series detailing how we struggled after detention. Mom encouraged my creativity but told me not to forget about my grades, since she was really hoping that Grandpa wouldn’t send me to Military School. I told Mom that I’ll be fine and asked her what was going on in Detroit. She said that Tanya got pregnant and had to marry Josh. You think that would bother me but, in all honesty, I don’t care that much. Then she was about to ask me if my bags were all packed and if I forgot anything, until I heard Dad shouting about long distance calls on Mom’s end. First Mom started arguing with him about how she’s only talking to their daughter. Dad’s making it clear that they can’t afford long distance and I’m hearing Mom shout at Dad that they can afford to buy Tanya a pair of earrings from Macy’s. Dad accused Mom of plotting revenge against him for it, saying that they’ll both lose when the phone bill comes in. So Dad won, as usual, and Mom had to hang up. She said that she loved me and I told her the same.

I went back to my room, which smelled like moth balls, and lied on the bed. Actually, calling it a bed would be generous. It’s an uncomfortably thin mattress with springs inside that you can feel which creak obnoxiously with the subtlest movement. I really miss my warm and comfy bed at home. I was watching a rerun of an old cop show on a tiny black and white TV wondering how I could convince Grandpa to shell out some money for color. Actually, I wasn’t really watching it because my mind kept drifting back to the crazy Saturday I had which is not quite over yet and wondering how Mom and Vernon know each other. Grandpa threw open the door without even a knock and barged into my room! He demanded to know what I was doing in here with the door closed. I asked him if he ever heard of knocking. Grandpa said that it was his house and his rules. Then he said that he’ll knock when he’s at my house! I said that, in the mean time, I’m going to have my rights as a human being violated. Grandpa told me to cut the liberal crap and pointed to the phone in the hall just outside my room. He told me that I had another phone call and right after I just got done talking to Mom. He raised an eyebrow at me and said that it was a little late for calls, so I’d better make it quick. He went back to the living room and watched some old war documentary while I took my call. I guess I’ll ask him about Vernon after I take this call.

It turned out to be Bender on the other line!

At first, he asked who this was and why I was calling him, which made me grin. I just said hey to him and he asked me if he was interrupting a wild Saturday night at my gramp’s house. I teased Bender that maybe I like being bothered and asked if he ever thought of that. Bender said that he’s thought of everything, which is why he called and said that bugging me is my business. I couldn’t help but laugh and admitted that, after detention, nothing interesting happened except for a call from my mom. Bender asked me if she called to scream at me some more and I said that she actually called to apologize, but the real kicker was that she knows Vernon. Bender asked if there was some secret affair going on between Vernon and my mom, meeting at sleazy motels, secret calls behind my dad’s back. Seriously, ewww! I told Bender my disgust and said that it didn’t sound like my mom liked him. Bender suggested that maybe my mom ended the affair and went back to my dad! I sarcastically thanked Bender for putting that mental image in my brain. Then I admitted that my mom didn’t really tell me what happened because “the lord and master” made her hang up. Bender knew I was talking about my dad with that one and then suggested that I ask my grandpa. I told Bender that I don’t think my grandpa’s going to tell the truth on that one, so he suggested asking my grandpa while he was knocked out cold. That way, he’ll tell the truth and nothing but the truth. I asked Bender if that would just wake him up, but he assured me that, as long as I’m not too loud, my grandpa will think he’s dreaming. I thanked him but said that I’m sure he didn’t call me to give me manipulation advice. Then Bender revealed that the reason he called was to remind me about Stubbie’s party. I told Bender that I didn’t forget. Which he said was good because, according to him, it’s the most important thing happening in my life tonight. I told Bender that it sounds like I can’t miss it. Bender told me that he’ll be going over there right about now. I asked Bender if I’d see him there. Bender just remarked that I catch on quick. Then he told me that Stubbie’s house is the big one on Lakewood and I can’t miss it. I told Bender that I’d see him soon and then hung up the phone. I really don’t get Bender sometimes. First he gives me his number, then he kisses Claire and now he’s calling me asking if I can make it to Stubbie’s party. I don’t know if Bender’s friend zoning me or the master of mixed signals. Not to mention that Claire will definitely be there and I don’t know if I can stomach seeing them together. Now that Bender’s called me, I feel like I have to stomach it and go. Besides, Bender’s not the only cute guy at Shermer High. Maybe if I go there looking all hot, I can find someone else who’d be interested in me. If Allison can get Andrew, then there’s definitely hope for me even if she did have to change her image.

Then I realized that I don’t know how I’m going to get to Stubbie’s party. I don’t have a car, but Grandpa does and he’s snoring in the Barcalounger, fast asleep. It was time to put Bender’s advice to good use. I told Grandpa that Mom says that she knows Vernon. Grandpa told me that Vernon had a thing for her back when Mom was dating Dad! Grandpa said that Vernon seemed like a nice respectable young man unlike Dad, who was some sneaky man from Detroit but Mom kept insisting that Vernon was a spoiled stuck up asshole. Good, she saw right through him. Then Grandpa said that Mom would’ve been better off with Vernon instead of disgracing herself by going to Detroit with Dad. Needless to say the conversation ended after Grandpa insulted my mom again! So I snuck into the room and spotted his keys lying on the coffee table. You’re probably wondering if I’m the kind of girl to steal my grandpa’s car just to go to a party hosted by a guy I’ve never even met. Well, you can stop wondering because that’s exactly the kind of girl that I am. Though I’ll make sure that I’m back before Grandpa realizes that I’m gone. Don’t look at me like that, waking Grandpa up is way too risky and there is no way in hell he’s driving me to an unchaperoned party. Besides, he’s sleeping like a baby and something tells me he’ll be there until dawn. I grabbed the keys and snuck out the front door, managing to navigate Grandpa’s gas guzzler across town. I steered it to a spot in the long driveway of a mansion. You read that right, the party’s in a mansion! I stepped out of the car and some giant ox with a mullet approached me. He asked me who I was and I told him the truth, I’m Jasmine. He looked me up and down and asked if I was the new girl, to which I said yes. Then this guy told me to listen up. He said that this is his place and his party. I remarked that he must be the famous Stubbie and he told me that I better not forget it. Then Stubbie said that this place isn’t open to just anyone.

Lucky for me, Andrew passed by and told the bonehead to relax, saying that I’m cool. Then Andrew explained to Stubbie that I started at Shermer yesterday. Since I got the Andrew seal of approval, Stubbie agreed to let me in and headed back to the party. I saw a group of guys wearing matching letterman jackets hanging out on the porch who must be Andrew’s crowd because, as soon as they saw him, they called him over. Andrew waved back to them and turned to me. He told me to go check out the party, which is the reason why I’m here in the first place. Then Andrew said that he saw Claire inside, which made me a little angry but I kept it at bay. Andrew’s friends called for him again and he went off to join them.

I was about to go inside, until I heard a whisper from the bushes. The whisper came from Brian who was hiding behind the azaleas. I asked Brian what he was doing back there and he explained that he was having second thoughts. I asked him if he was having second thoughts about hiding behind a bush. He explained that he was talking about going into this party. Brian admitted that, technically, he wasn’t invited. I told Brian that neither was I, so we have that in common. Brian said that I’m a pretty girl, so Stubbie would forgive me. I said that Stubbie seemed pretty hard on me when I arrived and then explained to Brian that I had to get the Andrew seal of approval to get in. I suggested that Brian and I walk in together, bask in our status as party crashers. Brian seemed shocked but in a delighted way as he asked if I would really do that for him. I told him that of course I would, we’re friends and, after today, we’re all in the same boat, him, me, Claire, Andrew. I said to Brian that, as far as I’m concerned, if they’re welcome here, we’re welcome here. Brian warmed to this idea and said that yeah we are, aren’t we? I agreed with Brian that it really sucks being the outsider. Brian started to step out from the bushes, but then spotted Stubbie and the other wrestlers crowding around the front door. He ended up slinking back behind the bushes again. He said that he appreciated it, but told me to go on ahead and he’ll see me inside. I told Brian that I’m going to hold him to that and climbed the front steps of Stubbie’s house, joining the crowd pressing through the front door.

I pushed my way into the crowded house and saw Shermer kids everywhere standing and talking, dancing, sprawled out on the couch. The music was throbbing so hard that I could barely hear anything. All I did was stand still among the throng of unfamiliar faces starting to understand why Brian didn’t want to come inside. Something large shoved into me from behind, nearly knocking me off my feet. I told the guy to watch where he’s going and it turned out to be Stubbie who called me the new girl and told me that he’s sorry about what happened at the front door, but he’s got to be tough on the new ones. Then asked me how I knew Andrew. I told Stubbie that I knew Andrew from detention. Then Stubbie asked me how well I knew Andrew. I wanted to know what it mattered to Stubbie, keeping my guard up around him. Then the asshole told me that it’s his job to break me in! I scoffed and said that I suppose that makes me a new pair of shoes! Stubbie said that it’s Shermer tradition and was about to go on about how flattered I should be! A loud whistle drew the moron’s attention away from me and another one of Stubbie’s jock pals waved him down from the next room. Another meathead talking about how some of the guys ripped up the rose garden in the backyard. So far I am not impressed with the bachelor selection at Shermer High. Stubbie got mad and called them idiots, saying that his mom loves those flowers. Boy would I love to see Stubbie trying to explain this to her when she gets back. Anyway, Stubbie lurched right past me and scrambled after the other guy with his wrestling buddies in two. Honestly, I was just happy to be rid of him. Now I’m back to the smiling strangers brushing past me and barely saying anything while I’m standing on my toes, hoping to see at least one familiar face. Instead, I got elbowed by a girl I’ve never even met.

She mockingly told me to look at all of these assholes while I’m giving this stranger a double-take. Then she said that she bets half of these people don’t even know Stubbie, but that doesn’t stop them from showing up to trash the place. I said that this must be her first time at a house party, it’s like the standard rule. The girl grinned at me and said, “touche!” admitting that she saw my point. She offered me her hand and I shook it. Then the girl introduced herself as Donna Page.

I told her my name was Jasmine Ross and she realized that I was new here, which I confirmed. I praised Donna on being observant but she just gave a shrug of fake modesty. Donna admitted that she was good with faces, plus she spotted me drive up in that boat. She said that she’s definitely never seen that car at a Shermer party. I have to admit, it made me a little embarrassed. I told Donna that it’s my grandpa’s. Donna told me that it’s a classic car. Then said that anybody with wheels at Shermer is going to be popular. Donna said that, since I’m new and all, she wanted to know if I had any questions about Shermer she can answer. Then she said that I can consider her the welcoming committee. She asked me what I wanted to know. I asked Donna about herself. She asked me if I wanted her bio and then told me that her parents are divorced, which happened last year. Donna claimed that her parents should never have gotten married in the first place. She said that she had a cool older sister and a brat of a younger brother. She told me that her parents are at that phase where they’re fighting for their children’s affection. Donna admitted that it’s stressful, but there are some decent gifts involved. We both shared a laugh. Then Donna told me that it was my turn.

I told Donna that I’m technically an only child, save for two older half-siblings on my dad’s side named Tanya and Ken. The former a white trashed psycho and the latter a deadbeat. My parents are together in Detroit, where I grew up, but I don’t know how long that will last, leaving out the part where I wish it would end in divorce. Then I finished by saying that now I live with my grandfather. Donna asked why my parents didn’t move with me. I said that my dad didn’t want to leave his cushy job in advertising and, in my family, what my dad wants my dad gets. So I ended up leaving alone. Donna gave me a sympathetic look and said that I’ve come to the right place.

Somebody cranked up the music even louder and it was hair metal at its shriekiest. Donna rolled her eyes and remarked that there was no accounting for taste around here. Then she said that she needed some fresh air, but she and I should find time to talk more, someplace not so overrun with… dum-dums (her word, not mine). I told her that I was about to suggest that we head to the dum-dum farm. Donna just laughed and asked me if this isn’t the place they grow dum-dums? Then said that she saw some pretty ripe specimens on the way in here.

Unfortunately, my conversation with Donna got interrupted by Claire and Bender storming past me deep in a heated argument. Did that mean that there was trouble in paradise? Anyway, Bender told Claire that she was being ridiculous. Claire wanted to talk about this later. Bender only told Claire that he doesn’t care what his stuck up friend, Becky, thinks about him. Claire said that he might not care, but she does because she’s known Becky since kindergarten. Bender joked that she probably still eats paste and momentarily met my eye as we both smiled. Claire told Bender that he’s being a jerk again and stomped off to join her preppy friends in the living room while Bender yelled after her! He said that he’s right, she does eat paste. Then he stomped off to the kitchen. Donna remarked that Bender and Claire don’t look happy. I told Donna that they started dating earlier today and are already fighting while thinking to myself that maybe Bender and Claire won’t last. A small part of me hoped that would be the case. Donna thumped the back of her hand against my arm, sounding shocked that Claire Standish and John Bender are an item! Yeah, way to rub it in Donna. Then said that something pretty major must’ve happened to drive those two together. I bitterly told Donna that I don’t know what brought them together, saying that love’s a mystery. Donna told me that I should know because I spent practically an entire day with them in detention, so I must have some idea what made them hook up. Is this girl fucking oblivious? Finally, I told Donna that, even if I did, it’s not really my place to say. Donna just stepped back and regarded me thoughtfully. Donna took that to mean that I’m not a gossip monger to which I responded with a harsh “Yeah, so?” She told me that it’s a good thing and it’s no wonder I was able to earn everyone’s trust so quickly. I heard some angry muttering and boot stomping coming from the kitchen, which definitely sounded like Bender. I remarked that he sounded really pissed and said that maybe I should go talk to him. If I’m lucky, maybe he and Claire broke up. Out loud, I said that whatever’s going on between him and Claire isn’t good, while silently thinking in my head, “for them.” I said out loud that maybe I could help. Donna said that I could help myself because I’m good looking. Then she suggested that I make a bold move now and I’ll get to know him better. She even bet that I could get a kiss. I guess she’s not as oblivious as I thought she was. I know I don’t stand a chance next to the princess of Shermer High but, if Bender and Claire really are that incompatible, maybe he’d realize that he’s better off with me. Besides, when you’re in private, good things always happen and a kiss with Bender certainly sounded intriguing!

I told Donna that I really should catch Bender before he leaves. I started to make my way through the crowd as Donna gave me a thumbs up and told me to have fun. I found Bender in the kitchen with a punch bowl that looked like it had been recently filled and saw him pour his flask into it. I asked Bender if he was spiking the punch. He remarked that he was slipping everyone some medicine to make them act more fun. Then he started raiding the pantry as one of the people grabbed the punch bowl and took it to the main room. He asked me what I was doing there. I cut to the chase and told Bender that I saw him and Claire fighting. He just wanted to know if it was fun to watch. I asked Bender to define “fun,” and he just shrugged. Bender said that he gave her a chance, but all her stupid little judgy, snotty, shitty little friends just couldn’t keep their mouths shut. I told Bender that he may not like to hear this, but he can be a little difficult. Bender got confrontational and wanted to know if I wanted to start something with him. I told Bender that I didn’t but, since we’re friends, I hope I can be honest with him. Bender laughed it off and said that he’s not difficult, he just tells the truth.

I asked Bender if he ever heard of tact and he told me that tact was just bullshitting people. I admitted that he did have a point. Bender then told me that, if dating Claire means he has to put up with those harpies, he might have to reconsider. There was a small part of me screaming, “Yes, reconsider!” Instead, I told Bender that there’s not a guy in Shermer who wouldn’t kill to be in Bender’s position. Bender said that it’s why he carries a knife. I elaborated by telling Bender that he can buy her a flower, or something, since I know he can do that. Seriously, what am I doing? This is my chance to be with Bender and I’m actually encouraging him to stick it out with Claire? Bender told me that this isn’t one of those sappy teen movies where the couple fights, the guy gets the girl a flower and everyone rides off into the sunset. I admitted that I know that, but I’m not sure what else to tell him. Bender just gave me a sneer and asked if this was the part where he was supposed to sob and thank me. I didn’t know what else to say, so I muttered an insincere sure. Bender did a mock cry and then just said hug. He fell silent and, for just a moment, he actually looked thoughtful and a little bit vulnerable. I know Bender would kill me for saying this, but it was actually kind of… cute. I don’t know what came over me, but I leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips. At first, he was tense but then he relax and returned the kiss. Forgive me if I sound cliche, but I swear that fireworks were going off inside of me! Then I finally came up for air and I looked up at him and remembered Claire, unable to believe what I’ve done! I told Bender that I’m sorry and was about to leave until he grabbed my arm and forced me to look him in the eye, telling me that he’s not sorry! He kissed me and I pulled away from Bender and slapped him. Then I returned the kiss, feeling this pang of guilt in my stomach. After the third kiss, I said that this was wrong, Bender’s with Claire. Bender scoffed and said he made a great choice picking the spoiled princess over me. Then he told me that he knows that I don’t have any bitchy friends. I responded to Bender by saying that I don’t, just some misfits that I met in detention. I warned Bender that I do have a bitchy sister. Bender said that she’s in Detriot and he actually smiled at me! He tried to kiss me again, but I stopped him. I told Bender that I don’t want to be his side chick or a notch in his bedpost. Then I explained that he has to make a decision, me or Claire. He said that he’s got a lot of stuff in his head right now and that he needed some fresh air. Then he excused himself from the kitchen while all I could do was contemplate what just happened. Did I really steal the princess’s boyfriend away from her? I never thought I’d even see the day! Then I felt the guilt come back tenfold. It’s one thing to fantasize about stealing someone’s boyfriend away but actually doing it just felt wrong. Besides, Claire’s been nothing but nice to me and I stabbed her in the back over a guy. Am I a horrible person?

I wandered through the party, trying to get my mind off of what I just did and saw Brian standing near the refreshments and looking awkward. So I went over to him. I said hi to Brian and was happy to see that he made it inside. Brian told me that he really appreciated what I said earlier, trying to give him a boost. Then he said that he finally worked up the guts to come in. I told Brian “Anytime,” as he still looked like he needed a boost. Brian gave me an awkward high five and poured himself some punch. I tried to stop Brian but he drank the whole glass as I explained that it was the punch Bender spiked. Brian said that he didn’t feel any different. Then he started bobbing his head to the music, grinning as he pointed finger guns at a group of passing girls shouting, “Looking good, ladies!” The girls responded with a mixture of giggles and eye rolls. I asked Brian if he felt any different now. Then he said that he was just picking up chicks like he was the Fonz. Brian refocused his attention and pointed at a different approaching girl asking if she came here often. The girl recoiled and made a quick 180. Honestly, I don’t blame her. Brian loudly proclaimed that the punch was amazing, thanking Bender for adding this magical confidence potion and was about to get another glass when I stopped him. I told Brian that it’s also a bad decision potion. Then Brian put two thumbs up and said “Ayyyyeeeeee.” I started thinking that Brian’s going to get his ass kicked if he keeps this up and how much I wanted to kill Bender. Right now, I needed to put a stop to this before Brian tried to get the TV running by hitting it. I tried to distract Brian by attempting small talk as he nodded to the beat. At first, I thought about talking to him about Star Trek or The Twilight Zone but I knew that neither he nor I wanted to advertise our geek sides at a popular kids party. So, instead, I asked him if he goes to a lot of parties and he finally holstered his finger guns and relaxed. Brian said that of course he does, he’s not a loser. Brian told me that he’s been to birthday parties, slumber parties and one time he went to a bar mitzvah. I told Brian that I meant house parties. Brian said that most of them were in houses. Then he asked me if I’ve ever been to a house party and I admitted that I haven’t, but I have an uncle who throws parties like a high school jock. Brain pointed out that it sounds like I have been to a house party. I tried to explain what I meant, but gave up. Definitely not one of my greater conversations but at least I’ve saved Brian from further embarrassment… I hope.

I heard some movement near the front door and looked over. There was Allison in her new get-up arriving at the party and, let me tell you, I wasn’t the only one staring at her. Everyone at the party looked at Allison like she was a different woman, which she probably was. I’ll admit, I will miss the basket case but, if this is what Allison wants, who am I to stand in her way? Brian said that everyone’s really into Allison’s new look and that he’s sure people are staring at me too because of my rad makeover. I made Brian promise to me that he’d never drink again. Brian said that he’s adorable like this and put his arm around me, calling me “babe!” I pushed his arm away, giving him a warning glance, and told Brian that no, he’s not. Andrew appeared beside me and also stared at Allison, distracting me from the drunk mess that was Brian. Then said “damn,” and asked me if I would look at her. Allison walked toward us, painfully aware of the eyes on her. Andrew was really happy that Allison showed up and so was I. Allison said that it’s not like she was doing anything else. Andrew said that she’s glad Allison’s here and said that this was awesome. Then Andrew stepped forward and gave Allison a light kiss. At least one couple that hooked up in detention will live happily ever after. Andrew asked Allison if she wanted a drink and offered to get her one. Then he hurried off to the kitchen before Allison could even respond. Allison just stood there, looking awkward. I asked her if she was loving her makeover. She said that everyone was staring at her and she felt like a freak. I asked Allison who cares if they think she’s a freak. Allison said that she does. I told Allison that it’s not true. Allison angrily said, “Excuse me?” I explained to Allison that, normally, she wears all black, tells crazy sexual lies, and brings cereal sandwiches for lunch. Then said admirably that most people find that stuff freaky, but she does it anyway. Allison said that she did that stuff because she wanted to. I told Allison that she’s right, because she doesn’t care if they think she’s weird. Allison said that she guessed not. Then I explained to Allison that they’re staring at her because she doesn’t look weird, which in itself is weird. Allison said that she already doesn’t care if they think she’s weird. I finished by telling Allison that it’s like I said, who cares? Allison sighed and said that I was impossible, asking if I knew that.

I looked around and noticed the crowd was pressing closer to me and saw Andrew’s wrestling buddies in the crowd as well as Claire’s preppy friends, unable to look Claire in the eye. Thankfully, I didn’t have to see Claire for too long because one of the dumb jocks shouted if we wanted to play “Seven Minutes in Heaven.” One of the preppy girls said that they needed a couple of volunteers. She looked me up and down and said that we got a volunteer right here. No way, count me out! When you play games like this, more often than not, you get paired with some gross guy who’s never known the touch of a woman in his life. No, I’ve never played before and that is exactly why I don’t want to. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to tell them that as the jock immediately wondered who was going to go with me and that’s just when Andrew returns. He asked what was going on and the prep girl said that Andrew’s a good choice. He asked what he was a good choice for but, before anyone could explain, Andrew’s wrestling buddies grabbed us and threw us both in a coat closet, slamming the door right in our faces while Allison watched with a shocked look on her face! Dear God, I hope she doesn’t think that I’m going to steal her boyfriend. I’ve already ruined one relationship over a guy and that is my limit! What’s worse is that Bender just walked in and I really hope he didn’t see this!

A/N: Uh-oh, Jasmine just kissed Bender.  Will that end in her favor or blow up in her face?  If you want, you can also request recaps of interactive stories as well as requesting the love interest and anything else that’s important to the story. For example, if you request High School Story from Choices, you can pick the love interest and the club your character joins!  You can also either RP in the comments by pretending you were there, or saying that you stole Jasmine’s diary, but the latter will make her mad.  I’m just warning you.

The Breakfast Club Episode 3 Recap

A/N: I usually post reviews on Fridays, but I was really excited about ending the movie part of The Breakfast Club before getting to what happened after.  I also wanted to announce that Jasmine Ross now has her own TUMBLR account here!  Be sure to follow her and ask her any questions you want!

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Dear Diary,

I’m back and Allison’s waving the very piece of paper that can either make or break me. Andrew asked what it was and Allison answered that it was my transfer letter! I told Allison that it was mine and demanded that she give it back! I even tried grabbing the letter, but she held it out of my reach! I didn’t find this funny and I made sure to tell Allison that! Allison only muttered an uh-huh and you have no idea how badly I wanted to scream at her! Fortunately, my mom always told me that it’s white trash to scream in public, so I decided to appeal to Allison’s better nature and beg her not to reveal my secret, saying that I would never do that to her. Allison had a change of heart and extended the letter to me. Bender said that there needed to be less talking and more reading. He snatched the letter out of Allison’s hands and quickly scanned it over! Bender sounded almost impressed, but that doesn’t excuse him for reading my transfer letter! Claire wanted to know what it said, so Bender explained that, according to the letter, I didn’t come to Shermer by choice, I got expelled from my last school! Brian said that even Bender hasn’t been expelled, which Andrew and I both remarked “yet.” Hey, I was angry, don’t judge me! Then Bender, that fucking asshole, starts to read my letter out loud! “Jasmine was expelled from Dewey High, on the grounds of…”

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They didn’t get to hear why I was expelled, as I told Bender to look out and pretended to point to something behind him. He turned around and fell for the oldest trick in the book as I snatched the letter out of his hand! I even told Bender that I can’t believe he fell for that. Bender said that at least the rumors were mostly true and was happy to know that I’m not a poser. I asked what Bender meant by mostly and he explained that he heard that I was a bitch, but it seems like I’m more of an asshole. I told Bender that I’d take that as a compliment. Brian asked what the difference was and Bender said that there’s a fine, but definite, distinction. Brian wanted to know what that distinction was. Bender called Brian a dweeb and told him that he doesn’t have time to get into the subtleties of derogatory diction with him right now because we’ve got bigger fish to fry! Then Bender asked me what my story was, practically demanding that I spill it! I told Bender the truth, if I screw up here, my next stop is military school. Brian seemed shocked and even said, “holy shit!” Claire asked if I was serious. Andrew agreed that my situation sucks. Bender said that it was better than prison. Andrew remarked that Bender’s never been to prison. Bender asked Andrew if he wanted to bet. I said that, whatever Military School is like, I don’t want to go and even said that it’ll be the end of me. Allison said that she knows why I got kicked out of my last school!

Andrew told Allison to give it a rest. Claire said that I’ll tell them if I feel like it. Brian asked Allison why she’s so freaking weird. Allison said that to conform is to die a slow death. I have to admit, even if Allison is grating on me, I kind of like that line. Claire asked Allison if she’s weird because she thinks not being weird is a slow death. Allison asked if we really want to know why she’s so weird. Brian said that he thinks it might shed some light. I told Allison that I like to think of it as finding out what makes her tick. Allison asked me if this was research for my next writing project. I finally just asked Allison what’s going on and if she’s okay. Allison jerked her head away and her eyes filled with tears. Then said that, if we really want to know why she’s so weird, then we can empty her bag on the table. I took the bait and emptied the bag, saying that this should be fascinating.

Allison handed me her bag and I dumped the contents onto the table seeing tons of stuff spill out like socks, underwear, a shirt, shampoo, toothpaste, tampons, a bus pass, a tarot card, a 45 record. I asked Allison if she always carried this much shit in her bag. She said that she does. I examined the bus pass, which was a one-way ticket to New York. I asked Allison if she wants to go to New York. She said maybe and that it depends. I asked her what it depends on. Allison said that it depends on how far she wants to get away from here. I looked at the tarot card, which was the death card. I asked Allison if she was trying to tell us something. Allison told me that it’s not what I think it means. I asked Allison what it means and she explained that it signifies endings, beginnings, transformation, and transition. Finally, I checked out the 45 record, which was a song called “Gotta Get Away” by The Blue Balls. Seems like everything in Allison’s bag is about getting away and I even pointed that out, asking Allison if that’s why she has all this stuff in her bag. She explained that you never know when you may have to bolt. Brian asked Allison if she’s going to be a shopping bag lady, sitting in alleyways and talking to buildings wearing men’s shoes and that kind of thing. Allison said that she’ll do what she has to do. Brian asked Allison if she’s saying she’d subject herself to the dangers of the Chicago streets. Allison said that she doesn’t have to run away and live on the street, she can run away and go to the ocean, she can go to the country, she can go to the mountains, she can go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan and then she turned to me. Then she asked me where I would run away to. I told Allison that I run away every day in my head to lands I create or other people created for me. I said that, considering the stories my mom told me about runaways, it’s the safer option. Allison told me to imagine running away from home forever, where would I go. I told her that, off of the top of my head, I’d probably take my mom with me and go somewhere fun like the circus or the amusement park. Allison asked me what job I would want and I said that I’d probably want to be an acrobat. Allison said that she would’ve guessed a clown. I told Allison that I’ll keep that in mind if I ever want to be Batman’s arch nemesis. Brian perked up at the mention of Batman. Then I asked Allison how bad her life can be if she’s seriously thinking about running away. She said that her home life is unsatisfying. I told Allison that everyone’s home lives are unsatisfying because, if it wasn’t, people would live with their parents forever. Though, now that I think about it, there are people who live with their parents forever, but I kept that to myself. Brian said that he thinks it goes beyond what we might consider normal, everyday unsatisfying. Allison seemed to take offense to what we said and told us to forget it, because everything’s cool! Then she wiped a tear for her face and started shoving everything back into her bag. What did we say that was so offensive? Whatever it was, I feel guilty about it. So I decided to be sympathetic and walked over to help Allison put stuff back in her bag. I asked Allison what was wrong at home, and if it was really that bad. Allison nodded and I guessed that it has something to do with her parents, which she admitted was the truth. I asked Allison what they do to her and she said that they ignore her. I told Allison that I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of her problems like that. I just squeezed her shoulder as tears filled her eyes. Allison just sighed and clutched her bag to her chest. Then she said that she has to get away, somehow, because, if she doesn’t, she’ll end up just like them. Andrew asked if we’re all going to end up like our parents. Claire said that she wouldn’t, not ever. Allison said that it’s unavoidable and it just happens. I said that maybe we can still fight this by being what our parents could have been instead of how they ended up. Allison said that it doesn’t work that way because, when you grow, your heart dies.

Bender just scoffed and said, “Who cares?” A mix of emotions passed Allison’s face as she said that she cares and then looked at me while she was crying her eyes out. I chose to be sympathetic to Allison and said that I care too. Bender gave a sarcastic “Oh please,” and asked what that even means! I tried to explain that it means and Allison finished by saying that our lives are going to suck, but at least we don’t have to go through that suck alone and then gave me a friendly smile. I told Allison that she’s wrong, we don’t have to end up like our parents if we don’t want to. I said that I know that I’m not going to end up like my mom.

It’s 2:53 pm and we’re all seated on the floor in a circle. Claire asked us what we would do for a million bucks. Andrew said that he’d do as little as he had to. Claire responded by saying that his answer was boring. Andrew asked Claire how he was supposed to answer. Claire explained that the idea is to search his mind for the absolute limit. Then Claire turned to me and asked if I’d drive to school naked. I told her that I’ve dreamed about driving to school naked, which perked Bender up. Claire then explained to me if I would drive to school naked in real life for a million bucks. I said that I would, but only if I was sure whoever offered the deal wouldn’t back out at the last minute. Claire said if the person was sincere, would I do it in winter? I said that a little frost bite is nothing compared to living in a giant mansion with servants to do everything for you. Then I told Claire that I’d even do it on school picture day. Bender asked me to prove it. I told him that as soon as he shows me a case with a million bucks, I will. Bender gave me a perverted grin. Well, he doesn’t find the idea of me being naked disgusting, so he must be somewhat attracted to me. Allison agreed with me but then said that she’d do anything sexual and she wouldn’t need a million dollars to do it either. Claire rolled her eyes and accused Allison of lying. Considering how little Allison’s parents pay attention to her, it’s not hard to believe that she might do some… questionable things for just the slightest bit of acknowledgment. Allison told Claire that she’s done everything there is, except for a few things that are illegal. Then Allison claimed that she’s a nymphomaniac. Claire called it a lie and Brian asked Allison if her parents were aware of this. Honestly, I doubt they even care. Allison said that the only person she’s told is her shrink. I asked Allison what they did when she told them and all she did was grin and say that he nailed her! I found myself proclaiming that her shrink is a fucking sicko! Claire agreed with me as she said it was gross because he’s an adult! Allison said that he’s married too, but I don’t care if he’s single. He should not be fucking a teenage girl! Claire asked Allison if she’s crazy, but I told her that the one we should be disgusted with is the shrink, not Allison! Brian said that she must be crazy if she’s screwing her shrink! Allison then turned to me and asked if I’ve ever done it! I told Allison that I don’t have a psychiatrist, but I did see a school counselor once. I explained that all that happened was I burst into tears and he handed me tissues. Then Allison clarified that she meant if I’ve ever done it with anyone. Allison said that it’s a double-edged sword, and I asked her what she meant. Allison said that, if you say you haven’t, you’re a prude, if you say you have, you’re a slut. Then Allison asked me if I’m a tease. I said that I don’t see why we have to be defined by whether we have or haven’t done it. Bender said that it means I’m a slut! I angrily told Bender that I’m not! Then he remarked that he’d say I’m a prude but I did say that I’d walk to school naked, so I’ve got to be a tease! I insisted that I’m not a tease but I’m not a prude either, I’m just me! Bender said that I’ve gotta be a tease, I just said that I haven’t done it with anyone and, the way I look, I’ve got to be a tease. I felt my face turn red, but I don’t know if it was from anger or embarrassment. I admitted that I can’t be a tease because no one at my old school even looked at me, all of their eyes were on my sister and the guys that did were more interested in using me to get to her! Bender scoffed, accusing me of lying, but I told him that I wasn’t lying! Then he remarked that my sister must have been one smoking hot babe if they were ignoring me for her and now I’m back to wanting to punch Bender’s lights out! Bender then remarked that I would be a slut if anyone gave me the option. I told Bender that it depends on who’s giving me the option! Allison got bored with me and turned to Claire, asking about her. Claire turned the question around to Allison, asking her if it bothers her to sleep around so much without being in love.

Then she asked Allison if she wants respect. Allison said that she doesn’t screw to get respect, claiming it’s the difference between her and Claire. Bender then turned to Claire and called her a tease, to which Claire angrily said that she’s not a tease! Bender said that Claire is because she said it herself, sex is a weapon and you use it to get respect. Claire said that she never said that and Allison twisted her words around. Bender asked Claire what she uses sex for and she screamed in frustration. Claire then said that I’m right, we shouldn’t have to be defined by whether or not we’ve had sex. She admitted that she doesn’t use it, period and she’s never even done it! All of us exchanged a silent look and I’ll admit that I couldn’t believe it! The Princess of Shermer High was a virgin? Tanya was the princess at my last school and she was far from a virgin as can be, though I’ve heard her admit that she hates having sex so I think she actually does use sex as a weapon. Allison finally admitted that she’s never done it either and she’s not a nymphomaniac, she’s a compulsive liar and she grinned again. Claire and I both got angry at Allison and called her a bitch! Claire added that she did that just to screw us over! Andrew said that we’re just pissed off that she got us to admit something we didn’t want to. Brian admitted that he hadn’t done anything either. I told Brian that it’s cool and there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. Brian said not to get him wrong, because he totally wants to do stuff, he just hasn’t exactly had a ton of opportunities. I told Brian to just give it time, it’ll happen. While silently thinking that I hope it will also happen for me one day. I didn’t say that out loud for fear that Bender and Allison will tease me again, the former volunteering himself. Bender told Brian that he’s sure there’s some nerdette out there just waiting to tickle his fancy.

I remarked that there are worse things in the world than being a virgin. Bender scoffed and asked me what I meant by that. I asked Bender if it’s better to be buried alive, but he said that my remark sounded a bit more personal like it was something that happened to a member of my family. I asked Bender what he could possibly know about my family that wasn’t in my sketch. Bender explained that, when Dick came over to tell them why I wouldn’t be in the library, he said that I came from bad stock but wouldn’t say what it was. I gave a frustrated sigh, of course Vernon would hold something like that against me. Bender asked me what it was and I told Bender that I’d make a deal, as soon as I die I’ll haunt him at night and tell him what it is. Bender remarked that he’s never fucked a ghost before and I’m giving this guy a look asking him how it was that he could find the perversion in everything. Bender shrugged and told me that it’s a gift. I rolled my eyes and said that I’m not sure if I’d call it a gift. Bender said that it must be one terrible secret I’m keeping if I’m that determined to keep it, even speculating that it might be in my diary! I told Bender that, if he reads it, he dies! Bender said that it’d be worth it and I responded that it wouldn’t because I didn’t write about the incident in there! Bender smirked and said that there’s no reason for me to not let him read it then! It’s bad enough being on the receiving end of Bender’s perversion now, imagine how much worse it will be if he found out what I wrote in there about him! I finally said that my half-brother, Ken’s, a registered sex offender, hushing everyone in the room, even Bender! I quickly explained that it’s not as bad as they think, the girl had a fake ID of 21 but it was still embarrassing and it broke up Ken’s first marriage, or one of his many engagements, I can’t remember.

Andrew just gave a shy look around the group. Then he asked us if we know what he did to get in detention. Andrew admitted that he taped some guy named Larry Lester’s buns together. Claire laughed while Brian asked if that was Andrew. Then he asked Brian if he knew how hairy this Larry guy was. Then Andrew explained that, when they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off and some skin too. I cringed at the mental image that gave me and Claire sounded just a horrified as I was. Andrew just shook his head as I asked him why he did it. He explained that he did it for his old man, torturing that poor kid because he wanted his dad to think he was cool. I asked Andrew what his friends thought and he said that they just laughed and cheered him on, like it was some high school movie where the nerdy hero gets tormented by the jerk jocks but, the way Andrew said that it was for his dad, I had to know what he meant. So I asked Andrew what was up with his dad and why he wanted him to hurt that poor kid. Andrew explained that his dad’s always going off about when he was in school and all the wild things he used to do. Andrew said that he always got the feeling that his dad was disappointed that he never cut loose on anyone. Then Andrew started getting really emotional and explained that he wailed on Larry because his father hates weakness and Andrew admitted that he hates his father and then started mimicking him! He did this imitation of his father as this asshole pressuring Andrew into being number one and how he won’t tolerate any losers in their family!

Andrew admitted that sometimes he wishes his knee would give and he couldn’t wrestle anymore so his dad would forget all about him. Bender clapped his hand on Andrews shoulder and suggested that their dads get together and go bowling. I remarked that my dad could join them, fuck with somebody’s else’s heads for a change. Then I started thinking about the high school movies the situation reminded me of, how we’re all supposed to sympathize with the skinny nerd while wishing the jerk jock would jump off of a cliff. We never stop to ask ourselves what made the jock a jerk in the first place, how they can be so mean to that poor nerd and how they manage to sleep at night.

I changed the subject by asking Bender what he did to get detention. He asked me which one I meant and I realized that I had to be more specific. So I told Bender that I’m talking about the one we’re having right now. Bender asked me if I remembered that fire alarm that we had on Friday. Brian asked Bender if that was him. Bender said that he thought that he’d try to start the weekend a little early and he didn’t think that those freshmen dweebs who saw him were going to narc. Bender joke that, maybe next time, he’ll just start a real fire. I snarked to him that I think that’s the lesson to be learned here. Though, honestly, I wonder if he wants to get Saturday detention so he doesn’t have to stay at his awful house.

Then I asked Claire what she did to get detention. She told me that she ditched class to go shopping. Andrew seemed disappointed and, honestly, I’m with him on that one. Though, in all reality, what I did to get detention isn’t exactly a hair raising story either, not like Andrew’s. His will be a tough one to top. Anyway, Claire said that she shouldn’t even be here. Bender snarked that the rules don’t apply to Queenie. Claire told Bender to shut up.

Next, I asked Allison what she did to get detention. It must be something awesome, enough to give Andrew’s story a run for his money! Allison admitted that she didn’t do anything, she just didn’t have anything better to do. Okay, I take that back but it did make everyone laugh. Allison accused us of laughing at her but I explained that we were laughing with her. At least, I tried to, but I burst out laughing mid-sentence and Allison ended up laughing with us.

Finally, I asked Brian what he did to get detention. No offense to Brian, but he seems too… rule abiding to be here. Maybe he got pressured into doing something he didn’t want to do? Turns out everyone else was wondering the same thing. Brian said that it’s because he’s stupid and he’s failing shop. He explained that they had this assignment to make this ceramic elephant lamp. Then said that, when you pull the trunk, the light was supposed to go on but his light didn’t go on. Brian admitted that he thought shop would be an easy way to maintain his grade point average. I remarked that I always saw Shop as an easy way to lose a limb. He said that he turned out to be wrong, because he got an F. Bender asked Brian why he thought it would be easy in the first place. Brian asked us if we’ve seen some of the dopes who take shop. Bender angrily said that he takes shop and, in all honesty, I don’t blame him for being angry right now. Bender then told Brian that he must be a fucking idiot. Brian asked if he was a fucking idiot because he can’t make a lamp. Bender remarked that he’s a genius because he can’t make a lamp. Brian asked Bender what he knew about Trigonometry and Bender said that he could care less about trigonometry. Brian said that, without trigonometry, there’d be no engineering. Bender responded by saying that, without lamps, there’d be no light. Claire said that neither one of them is any better than the other one. I added that Claire’s right, they both make good points. Then I told Brian that I still don’t get how he got detention. Brian hid his head in his arm and then explained that he got detention because Mr. Ryan found a gun in his locker!

Oh my God, he was either going to murder someone or commit suicide! I immediately dismissed the former and asked if he was going to hurt himself with that gun. Brian actually had to think about it and he was silent for a long time, confirming my worst fears as he started to shake and wipe the tears from his eyes! He said that he tried, you pull the freaking trunk and the light’s supposed to go on but it didn’t. Again, I asked Brian what the gun was for. Brian explained that he can’t have an F and he knows that his parents can’t have it! He said that, even if he aced the rest of the semester, he’s still only a B and everything’s ruined! I didn’t know what to think about this! Claire shared my horror as Brian bashed his arm against a chair! Brian said that he considered his options, but killing himself is not an option and Claire agreed with me! Brian said that he didn’t do it, but the thought that he nearly did! I asked Brian if it was a hand gun. Brian explained that it was a flare gun and it went off in his locker. Honestly, I felt relieved and I think Andrew felt the same way as he started laughing. Brian said that it wasn’t funny but we all laughed, probably thinking that it’s lucky that the gun went off in his locker before he had the chance to use it. Brian even agreed that it was funny and admitted that the fucking elephant was destroyed and he laughed along with us.

Now it was my turn as Brian asked me what happened at my last school. I told them that nothing could be as bad as having a sex offender for a brother, so it’s time to come clean. I admitted that I got kicked out because I spray painted something on the school wall. Brian asked me what it was and I said that it was a smiley face. Bender found it hard to believe that I got kicked out for a smiley face. I explained that it had the principal’s name underneath and a dick coming out of its mouth. Bender said that it’ll do it. I said that the principal totally deserved it. Then my face fell as I admitted that it’s what my so-called friends told me. Claire said that I thought I was a loner at my last school. I admitted that I was, but it wasn’t by choice and admitted that my sister, Tanya, was the princess at my high school and she went out of her way to make my life miserable. No one wanted anything to do with me so that they didn’t piss off Evil Queen Tanya. Then I explained that, finally, a group wanted to hang out with me who hated Tanya as much as I did. I said that I was so excited to belong that I did whatever they say, whether I was for it or against it I looked Bender in the eye and told him it was how I’ve tried tofu and soy beans. Then I bitterly told them that, when I got caught, they bailed on me and I had to face the Principal alone. Andrew asked me what she did to make me and my friends hate her so much, and I said that she took away our off-campus privileges just to be a bitch. I told them that it’s what happened and now this is my last chance because, if I screw up here, it’s off to Calvin Military Academy. I admitted that wasn’t even the worst part. Claire asked me what was the worst part. I said that my mom was driving me home after I got expelled. She screamed at me and I remembered what she said. I imitated my mom as I remembered what she said to me in the car, my eyes starting to water. “How the fuck could you do this, Jasmine? I’d expect something like this from Ken or Tanya, but you were supposed to be the white sheep! Do you have any idea how much shame you brought to our family? No, I don’t want to hear a fucking peep out of you! Your father’s always said you were a lost cause, your grandfather said I was too lenient with you and now I’m starting to think they’re both right! So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to live with your grandfather, go to Shermer High and get your fucking life together or, so help me God, you’ll be at the Calvin Military Academy! No, you don’t talk to me and you don’t even look at me! I don’t want to see your face!” Bender remarked that it didn’t sound like my mom loved me all that much. I told Bender to shut up and he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about! Bender said that my mom didn’t even fucking listen to me and sent me to my grandpa the first chance she got! I said to Bender that my mom trusted me, believed in me and I let her down! I quietly adding that I fucking let her down. Then I told them that my asshole dad had to rub salt in my wounds. I imitated Dad with a loving voice and recalled every word he said to me, the tears falling out of my eyes. “Jasmine, I say this because I care about you. You might as well sign up for Calvin Military Academy right now because you will fuck up at Shermer High just like you fuck up in life.” I admitted that I still hear my dad right now, loud and clear and he’ll never fucking go away. Then I started saying that maybe Allison’s right, we do end up like our parents. Allison asked me what made me change my mind and I said that, before my mom met my dad, she had dreams, ambitions but then she fell in love with my dad and, everytime my mom wanted to pursue something greater, my dad would say the same thing to her that he says to me, “I say this because I love you, don’t try because you’ll fuck it up.” I said that, little by little, my mom got manipulated like that but she was so in love she couldn’t even see it. Now he’s fucking silenced her and he’s silencing me. Then I’ll end up married to some manipulate asshole just like him, getting my spirit crushed until there’s nothing left. Andrew and Brian both looked at me, as if they could understand what I was going through. I suppose they could, they both had manipulative parents that were controlling them and, in a way, the same thing was happening to them. Bender said that I should just fucking silence my asshole dad! I told Bender that it’s not that easy because, in case he forgot, my head is my dad’s summer home! Bender told me to just kick him out! I asked Bender if he knows what it’s like to have someone mess with your mind like a toy? Bender snapped at me and said that he’s only a punching bag, what a relief! I told Bender that I’m not saying my life is worse than his, I’m just saying that he has no idea what it’s like to have someone constantly fucking with your head to the point that you don’t know what’s real anymore! Bender said that he’ll tell me what’s fucking real, my asshole dad’s in Detroit and I’m in Shermer! I told Bender that my dad’s not the only one silencing me, there’s also the teachers who gave me Fs because they didn’t think Carrie was a real book or I gave answers to essay questions that they didn’t like! I said that I once got an F on Hamlet because I suggested that the king that died was the evil king instead of his brother! Bender asked me why I give a fuck what they think! I said that the hippie group gave me the illusion of freedom, but made me do everything they did and then bailed on me! Bender said that they’re fucking assholes! Then I pointed out that my grandpa plans on sending me to Military School if I fuck up at Shermer, which would destroy everything unique about me! Bender told me not to fuck up here! Finally, I pointed out that Vernon was doing the exact same thing, destroying each of our voices and leaving us as empty shells, pointing out that he’s even silencing Bender! Bender seemed taken back by what I said and I pointed out that he’s the one who told me we can’t go to the Principal about Vernon! Bender said that it hasn’t stopped him from showing Dick up and he thought that it didn’t stop me! Andrew told Bender to leave me alone, but I told Andrew that Bender’s right. If I don’t want to end up speechless like my mom, then I can’t let people run me down like this. I looked around at the rest of the group realizing that their situations might be different but we all had one thing in common, we were trapped. Claire with her rich narcissistic parents who used her as a pawn in their games. Allison with neglectful parents who didn’t care if she existed. Brian with parents who had standards so unreasonable that they’d drive the poor boy to suicide. Andrew with his stage dad using his son to relive his glory days. Then there was Bender, who was trapped worse than any of us with parents who criticized him and used him as a punching bag, Saturday detention being his only means of escape. Last but not least was me, ruled by a narcissistic asshole who manipulated his own family into becoming extensions of himself. I told the rest of the group with a newfound determination that none of us can.

3:15 pm and we’re all still lounging on the floor, counting the minutes until four. I asked if anyone had a weird skill. Allison said that she can write with her toes and she can also eat and brush her teeth with them as well as play Heart & Soul on the piano. Brian said that he can make spaghetti. I asked Andrew what he can do and he said that he can tape all of our buns together, something we all laughed at. Bender said that he wanted to see what Claire can do and she said that she can’t do anything. Bender told her that everyone can do something. Claire said that there’s one thing she can do, but we have to swear that we won’t laugh. Then remarked that she can’t believe she’s actually doing this. Claire took out a tube of lipstick and put it between her breasts, applying the lipstick from her cleavage. She lifted her head to show us that the lipstick was perfectly applied. Andrew asked Claire where she learned to do that and she said that it was in camp in the seventh grade. Claire turned to me and asked what I can do. I told them that I can stay up for twenty-four hours straight. Bender said that I must have some good shit. I said that the only drug I have in my house is caffeine.

Then Brian asked what’s going to happen to us on Monday. I asked Brian what he meant and he explained that, when we’re all together again, he considers us his friends. Then asked if he was wrong. Andrew said that he wasn’t, but Brian still asked what happens on Monday. Claire asked if Brian meant that we’ll all still be friends, which Brian confirmed. There was an awkward silence but I chose to be optimistic by saying that, after today, how could we not be friends? I said that’s usually how it works out in the movies. Then I asked if we can really go back to the way it was. Claire said that we could. I told Claire that I don’t think so! Andrew even called Claire out on her bitchiness! Claire defended herself by asking Andrew what he would do if Brian walked up to Andrew in the hall on Monday! Then finished for Andrew by saying that he would say hi and, when Brian left, Andrew would cut him up so his friends wouldn’t think that he really liked him! Andrew said that he wouldn’t do that! Allison asked Claire what she would do if she came up to her! Claire said that she’d do the exact same thing! I asked Claire if she would treat me just like Tanya did at my old school. Claire said that she wouldn’t go out of her way to single me out, but the principle would still be the same. Bender called her a bitch and I agreed with him! Claire asked why she was being a bitch, because she’s telling the truth? Bender told Claire that it’s because she knows how shitty that is to do to someone! Brian said that he wanted to tell each one of us that he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t and he will not! Claire said that his friends wouldn’t mind because they look up to her! I got so fed up with Claire’s bullshit and stuck up for Brian by telling Claire that she’s a conceited bitch and asked why she’s so fucking full of herself!

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Claire claimed that she wasn’t saying that to be conceited and that she hates having to go along with everything her friends say! I told Claire that the whole reason I got expelled was because I went along with whatever my so-called friends said! Then I asked Claire why she would want to keep her fake friendships when she has real friends right now! Claire said that it’s the rules of cliques and I told her that the rules are wrong! Claire remarked that it was so easy for me to say because I just moved here and didn’t have an established clique!

3:33 pm and we’re all worn out from the day and watching the clock tick towards four. I asked Brian if he was going to write his paper. He said that he was and asked me why I asked him. I told Brian that it’s a waste for all of us to write our paper. Brian said that it’s what Vernon wants us to do. I admitted that Brian was right, but I think we’d all say the same thing. Brian accused me of not wanting to write my paper and I gave him a mischievous smile, admitting that my writing is more creative than academic. Then I told Brian that we trust him. Brian glanced at the rest of us who just gave him a nod of approval and he beamed with pride. Brian agreed to write the paper and I thanked him for it. Then Claire stared at me, as if she was sizing me up. I asked her what she was doing and Andrew explained that Claire’s in makeover mode. Claire said that she can work wonders with anybody’s look but she does her own styling. Claire bragged that she also came up with Andrew’s new hairstyle. Bender asked what it looked like before. Andrew told Bender to shut up. Allison told Andrew that she thinks his hair looks great, which Andrew thanked her for while Claire and I gave each other a knowing look. She still kept her focus on me and said that I’ve got a solid foundation but she has some great ideas on how to make me look even hotter than I already am. Then asked me if I wanted to upgrade my look.

The princess of Shermer High wants to give me a makeover? How could I say no? Claire was really excited and said that it would be so much fun! Then she told Allison that she’s coming too! Allison was a little confused, but Claire insisted that she join us! She grabbed Allison’s arm and the three of us headed off to the restroom! Claire applied eye makeup to Allison, telling her not to be afraid. Allison told Claire not to stick that in her eyes. Claire said that she’s not sticking it, then told Allison to close her eyes and demonstrated. Allison followed Claire’s lead and, after Claire was done, she admired her work and continued with the makeover. I told Allison that she looks great either way, but her new style is wow! Allison thanked me and said I was sweet but she still liked her old style better. Claire told Allison that Andrew doesn’t and we exchanged knowing glances. Allison asked what Andrew had to do with this and Claire told Allison not to play dumb because she’s seen the way she looks at him. It pained me to say it, but I asked Claire about the sexual tension between her and Bender and how you can cut it with a knife. Claire asked me what I was talking about and Allison teased Claire that she knows exactly what I’m talking about. Claire’s face turned bright red as she insisted that she can’t stand him and then asked if we think he likes her. It was Allison’s turn to exchange a knowing glance with me. Claire just said “What-ever,” and shifted her attention to me, saying that it’s my turn. She told me that the secret is not to go overboard and that less is more. Claire worked her makeover magic on me and I asked her where she got those awesome outfits! Claire told me that she found out where the drama department keeps their extra costumes. After changing clothes, I decided to show off my new look! Allison said that I look amazing! Claire said that it could be her most successful makeover ever! Then she said that we should do see what everyone else thinks.

3:50 pm and I feel great! I made a grand entrance and unveiled my new look to the rest of the group!

You wouldn’t believe this, but I made all of the guys’ jaws drop! Brian said that I look amazing. Andrew agreed with Brian. Even Bender, who said that he’s not really in the compliments business, said that I look smoking! I thanked them all and said that it was all Claire. Claire said that an artist can’t work her magic without a great subject. Then Allison made her entrance from the back room and Andrew looked stunned! It’s still Allison, but she’s no longer the dark, moody, closed-off girl. She seems light and, dare I say it, more open. Allison walked past Brian and the look of shock on his face earned a glare from her. Brian just changed his expression to a big grin, letting Allison know the makeover was a success. Allison smiled and silently mouthed the words “Thank you.” Andrew asked Allison what happened to her and she said that Claire did it. Then Allison asked Andrew what’s wrong, probably worried that he didn’t like her new look. Andrew told Allison that nothing’s wrong, it’s just that her new look’s so different. Andrew remarked that he can see Allison’s face. Allison asked if that was good or bad. Andrew just laughed and said that it’s good. Allison smiled at Andrew as their hands brushed together.

Over at the table, Brian tapped his pencil as if he were in deep thought. I asked him how it’s going and he said that he’s almost done, but there’s just one more thing. Brian told me that he came up with a description for each of us, kind of like the way Vernon sees us without really seeing us. Brian said that he’s the Brain, Andrew’s the Athlete, Allison’s the Basket Case, Claire’s the Princess, and Bender’s the Criminal. Brian then claimed that the only one he has left is me, so he thought that he’d let me decide what I wanted to be called. I thought about how Vernon saw me as this rebellious good for nothing troublemaker and I thought “why not give him what he wants?” So I told Brian to call me The Troublemaker and then remarked that it was too lame. I remembered Bender’s words from earlier when I told them about my dad and told Brian to call me The Rebel because I’m not going to let society, or the people around me, define who I am. Brian nodded with approval and went back to work. Then I remembered what my counselor said about finding opportunities all around me and I realized that I’ve been living one! Five high school stereo-types holed up in one room, each of us slowly revealing that we were more than our labels! I asked Brian if he could make a copy of that essay for me. Bender told me to get back to the classroom before Brian could ask why I wanted to see the essay. Bender explained that Vernon’s going to be coming for me soon. I reminded Bender that he needed to get back to his closet. Claire thanked me once again for saving all of them. Andrew said that they all owe me one. Allison agreed with Andrew. I told them that I’ll see them on Monday with the exception of Brian and said that I would explain the essay to him later. Bender asked me if I needed a boost back into the vent and I said that I did, thanking him for it. Bender and I headed back to the second floor and took one last look at the library before leaving. I said that it was a pretty good day, which Bender found weird. Bender helped me onto the bookshelf and, from there, I pulled myself back into the ceiling vent.

4:07 pm and I’m back into the empty classroom, waiting for the dragon to release me. He finally entered and asked if that was what I was wearing earlier. Yay, now’s my chance to gaslight him! I insisted that it was and Vernon said that he’s sure that I wasn’t. I told Vernon that I’ve been wearing this all day and said that he might want to take some vacation days because it sounds like he’s overworked. The dragon gave me a confused look and told me that I was free to go and that Brian wrote an essay for us. Then he said that he hoped I learned something today. I told Vernon that I learned a lot and he asked me what exactly I learned. I told Vernon that labels are for clothes, not people and that I won’t be silenced. I got up and walked past Vernon, free of him and his prison. I left Vernon standing alone with the essay while wondering if Brian managed to make a copy. As I headed down the hall, I saw the rest of the gang standing in front of the library. I asked them if they really waited for me. Claire said that of course they did. Andrew asked if I thought they were animals. Brian said that, technically, we are animals, but he did promise that he’d hand me a copy of the essay. Allison called Brian a nerd. Bender told Allison not to call him that, which Brian thanked him for, but Bender said that Brian’s a dork not a nerd and gave Brian a playful smirk. Andrew said that we should get out of here. I grabbed my copy of Brian’s essay and thanked him for this. Then told everyone that I’ve got to grab my stuff and I’ll see them later. I stepped into the library as the rest of the crew headed outside. I started packing up my stuff when I heard the sound of footsteps outside, causing me to look up. I was expecting Vernon but, thankfully, it was Bender. He told me not to get up on his account. I told Bender that I was just getting ready to leave. Bender told me not to rush and it’s not like I’ve been in this school all day. I asked Bender why he was here and joked if he missed me. Bender made a big show of shrugging and said that maybe he did and maybe he was hoping that we could see more of each other. I told Bender that I’d like that. Bender said that he figured I would, so that’s why he stopped in here, since he’s all about giving the people what they want. I told Bender that we have that in common and laughed. He took out a piece of paper and a pen and said that he wanted to give me his phone number! Then Bender told me not to worry about calling since his old man never answers the phone. He wrote his number on the paper and handed it to me! I felt my heart pounding like mad but calmed myself down long enough to give Bender my number, which he tucked into his wallet! Bender said it was cool and then asked me what Brian handed to me. I told Bender that it was a copy of the essay, nothing all that huge. Bender just shrugged and asked if I heard about Stubbie’s party tonight. I told him that I did and he said that he might be there, just to check it out and see if it’s as crazy as everyone claims! Then he said that maybe he’d see me there! Okay, did I just get asked out on a date, a real date? I thought Bender liked Claire! Anyway, I grabbed my belongings and left.

I walked down the steps in front of the school and caught sight of Claire and Bender sharing a kiss, causing a little pang in my heart but I knew I didn’t stand a chance against her. Though, for a moment, I locked eyes with Bender and I could’ve sworn I felt a connection. No, I got friend zoned again and I have to live with it. I turned away and saw Andrew and Allison kissing too, that actually bringing a smile to my face. I stood in the parking lot, waiting for my grandpa to pick me up and reflected on the day. I admit, it was definitely not what I expected. Though I couldn’t help but wonder if Stubbie’s party will be as crazy as they say. I knew that there was only one way to find out. I read the essay Brian wrote and thought about how this whole day could be a novel, or maybe a movie. One that actually challenged the stereo-types of high school rather than following them and this essay was the perfect ending. So it’s only natural that I put it in my diary.

Dear Mr. Vernon,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But, we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is… A brain… and an athlete… a basket case… and a princess… a criminal… and a rebel. Does that answer your question?
Sincerely Yours,
The Breakfast Club

I saw Bender punch his fist up in the air and I smiled to myself, imagining the look on Vernon’s face when he reads this.

A/N: So ends the movie and, next chapter, we’re going into what happens after the movie.  Believe it or not, I was inspired by Speechless from the live-action Aladdin when I wrote some of this chapter.  I think of it as Jasmine Ross’s theme song, which is why I changed her name to Jasmine.

The Breakfast Club Episode 2 Recap

A/N: Here it is, the second chapter of my Breakfast Club recap.  Shout out to BloodRoseRed, who this recap is a gift for.  If you recognize it from The Breakfast Club, I don’t own it.

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Dear Diary,

Last time I wrote in here, I was holding Bender’s knife and Vernon was looking at me like he wanted to kill me. Now I’m back, I’ve still got the knife in my hand and Vernon’s still looking at me that way. He demanded that I give him the knife and ripped the switchblade right out of my hand, meaning I didn’t really have a choice. Then he told me that I may have just set the record for fastest expulsion in the history of the district unless I can come up with a reasonable explanation for why I’m standing there with a knife in my hand! I didn’t want to rat Bender out, but I couldn’t just stand there not saying anything! So I told Vernon that we found it in the library which, unsurprisingly, he didn’t believe. Then he asked me if I really thought he was stupid enough to believe that there was a switchblade lying around in the library. No, but I hoped he was. Guess I was praying for a miracle. Out loud, I told Vernon that it was the truth. Vernon asked me how I found it and I invented this story about how I know I wasn’t supposed to get up but my foot got a cramp and I had to walk it off. Then, as I was pacing down the aisles, I started thinking about the essay assignment and how I was going to complete it. I found the knife in one of the aisles sticking out of Moby’s Dick (yeah, I was really nervous).

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Brian, Andrew and Claire were trying to hold back their laughter while Bender just cracked a smile. Vernon angrily corrected me by saying that the book’s called Moby Dick. I finished my story by telling Vernon that I was just bringing it to him and that’s when he walked in. All the while my heart’s pounding like mad as I’m praying to a God that I’m not even sure exists that Vernon doesn’t expel me! I asked everyone else to verify my story and they all nodded. Vernon just narrowed his eyes and looked around, then he told me it was a nice try, but possession is nine-tenths of the law! He said that I was expelled and grabbed me by the collar, pulling me towards the library door and I went from agnostic to full-blown atheist! Thankfully, Bender spoke up and called Vernon Dick before correcting himself to call him Rich. Vernon stopped to face Bender, who asked Vernon if he was really dumb enough to believe that’s my knife. Vernon let go of me and told Bender that he just bought himself another Saturday. Bender told Vernon to eat his shorts, really pissing him off to no end. When Vernon asked Bender what he said, he repeated it slowly in a scene that had to be seen to be believed. Vernon told Bender that he bought himself one more Saturday detention! Bender just responded by telling Vernon that he’s free the Saturday after that but, beyond that, he’s going to have to check his calendar. Vernon said that was good because it was going to be filled. I felt really grateful to Bender for saving my ass and making me agnostic again and he shouldn’t have to suffer through so many Saturday detentions because of me, so I decided to take the heat off of him. I was about to speak, but Vernon told me to stay out of this. Again, I tried to speak but Vernon told me that I was walking a very thin line. Finally I told Vernon that the phone in his office is ringing. Vernon claimed that he didn’t hear anything. Claire said that she heard it too. I told Vernon that it was loud and clear and suggested that he get his hearing checked after detention’s over. He shot me a glare but was listening to the made up phone ringing and then started to head towards the door. Before leaving, he threatened Bender by saying that he’s his, which Bender responded to by saying that he’s thrilled. Vernon challenged Bender by saying that he’s sure that it’s exactly what Bender wants us to believe. Then he told Bender that he ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with himself and a little less time trying to impress people! Vernon finished by telling Bender that he might be better off. Then Vernon finally walked out of the library and let the door slam shut behind him. Bender screamed “FUCK YOU!!!” at Vernon through the door. All I could do was stand there, thinking about how I was nearly expelled and Bender saved me! Brian asked me if anything was wrong and I just smiled and told him that I just faced the dragon and lived to tell the tale!

It’s 11:59 am and I’m bored, the exhilaration from the knife incident wore off big time. Now we’re all just hanging around the tables, staring into various points in space until the alarm on Brian’s watch went off. Brian told us that it meant that it was time for lunch. Not a moment too soon, I am starved. Everyone settled into their seats as Claire pulled out sushi (seriously, ewww!), Andrew pulled out a grocery bag with a lunch big enough to feed a small country, Allison took the meat out of her sandwich and poured sugar from her pixie sticks on the bread as well as Captain Crunch (original, but double ewwww!), Brian just pulled out a regular lunch bag and Bender had nothing! I, once again, sat with Bender. I thanked him for owning up about the knife, telling him that it was a cool thing he did. Bender said that it was his knife and then thanked me for trying to take the heat off of him. Bender told me that he knows that Vernon’s phone wasn’t ringing. I told him it wasn’t a problem, but I think I might have made Vernon worry that he’s going deaf. Bender said that would suck, because he wouldn’t be able to piss off Dick, if he couldn’t hear him which made me smile. I told Bender not to worry because, even if Dick was going deaf, Bender would find a new way to piss him off.

Then Bender sat down and checked out Brian’s lunch bag. Bender asked Brian what they were having and I really hope that doesn’t mean he’s about to steal Brian’s lunch! Brian said that it’s just your standard regular lunch and asked Bender where his lunch was. Bender admitted that he didn’t have one. I asked Bender if he didn’t bring his lunch to which he said no. Then he started inspecting the contents of Brian’s lunch bag, soup, a peanut better and jelly sandwich with the crust cut off and apple juice! He told Brian that it’s a very nutritious lunch with all of the food groups represented! Then he asked Brian if his mom married Mr. Rogers! Brian cluelessly answered that she married Mr. Johnson. Then Bender did this unfair impression of what Brian’s family must be like, pretending to be Brian’s dad calling for his son! Then he switched to Brian saying, “yeah, Dad?” giving him exaggerated dimples! Then Bender switched to Brian’s dad asking Brian how his day is and calling him “Pal!” He switched back to Brian and said, “Great, dad!” then had Brian ask his dad how his day went! Bender went back to imitating Brian’s dad saying that it was “super,” and then asking Brian how he’d like to go fishing this weekend! Then Bender went back to imitating Brian telling his dad that it would be great, but he’s got homework to do! Bender switched back to Brian’s dad, saying that it was all right and he can do it on the boat! Then Bender switched back to Brian going “Gee!” Bender imitated Brian’s father talking to his mother asking if their son was swell and then calling her dear! Then Bender finished this skit off by imitating Brian’s mother telling his father that Brian is and then asking if life is swell! Then he imitated them both kissing each other and punched the air! It was like Brian’s family was a modern day version of the Cleavers! Though, if you ask my mom, Ward Cleaver was beating his family behind the scenes. Still, it didn’t make what Bender did less disgusting and what made it worse was that Brian looked like he wanted to cry! How can Bender be so cool one minute and act like a complete asshole the next?

I finally asked Bender what his home life is like to put a stop to this. Andrew joined me by asking Bender what it’s like at his house. Bender said that it’s real easy. Then he did this impression of his father calling him a stupid, worthless, no good, goddamned freeloadin’ son of a bitch, big mouth, know it all, asshole jerk! He switched to an impression of his mother telling his father that he forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful! Then he switched back to his father slapping his mother and telling her to shut up, bitch and to go fix him a turkey pot pie! Bender shifted back and forth between playing himself and his father. Bender asked his dad “What about you?” and his dad responded with “Fuck you…” Then, as himself, asked his dad again, “What about you?” His dad once again responds with “Fuck you!” Then he more passionately asked, “No, Dad, What about YOU?!” getting another “FUCK YOU!!!” Then Bender mimicked his father beating him! It made me and everyone else feel uncomfortable as all we could do was stare in silence! I asked Bender if that was for real. Bender asked me if I wanted to come over sometime. Andrew accused Bender of spouting bullshit, saying that it was all part of his image and he doesn’t believe a word of it!

I told Andrew that I think Bender’s being honest! It would explain why he pretty much lives in Saturday detention. Andrew still didn’t buy it, to which Bender challenged by pulling up his sleeve to show us a circular shaped burn! Then Bender asked Andrew if he believed this and explained that the burn’s about the size of a cigar and made Andrew look at it up close! Bender said that it’s what you get in his house when you spill paint in the garage! I couldn’t believe it! I’ve heard stories about screwed up families, but hearing about this still sent me into shock!

Bender noticed how upset I was and then asked if it was too much for Little Miss Perfect to handle! I told Bender that my family’s not as bad as his, but they are far from perfect! Then he did an impression of my family with me skipping inside my house and proudly proclaiming that I’m home! He switched to an impression of my mom, or what he thinks is my mom, saying welcome back sweetie and how it’s oh so wonderful to have me home! Then he switched back to me and said that it’s oh so wonderful to be home and then mimic giving my mom a paper and then said, “guess what, Mommy? Another A!” He switched back to my mom, who gave a smile that made her look like a Stepford Wife and said, “I’m so proud of you!” Then he switched into what he thought was my dad coming home from work and saying, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite daughter?” He switched back to me and said, “But Daddy, I’m your only daughter!” Then he switched back to my dad and said that it makes me his favorite one and told me that he had a surprise for me! He switched back to me and gave an imitation of a girlish squeal and repeatedly asking what my present is. Then he switched back to my dad who presented me with an imaginary book saying that it’s my own personal diary! He finished the skit by changing back to me and jumping up and down like a five year old on a sugar high and saying that I love my new gift and I’m going to write in this as soon as I finish my homework! I burst into this crazy “I’m going to kill you” laughter, earning me a stare from everyone in the room, including Bender. Then I asked Bender if that’s seriously what he thinks my family is like. Bender challenged me to prove him wrong, which I did.

I did an imitation of Dad shouting at Mom about how I could get another F and then switched to Mom shouting at Dad that, this time it wasn’t my fault and explained that the teacher gave me an F because she said Carrie wasn’t real literature. Then I went back to Dad mocking Mom for actually believing me, claiming that it’s because, once again, I was off in la-la-land while the teacher was giving instructions. I turned into myself trying to watch TV until I insisted that the teacher said we could pick any book we wanted. I went back to Dad scoffing at me and saying that, once again, I daydreamed in class and didn’t pay attention and insisting that there’s something wrong with me and then switching the channel. I went back to me telling Dad that I was watching that and then back to Dad who said that it’s the same episode of Cheers that I’ve seen a million times. I went back to Mom saying that I was at the TV first. Then I imitated Dad giving the remote back to me and saying that I can have whatever I want, like I always do, and how he has no control in his own house. I went back to Mom who sighed and told me to let Dad watch TV. I went back to Dad telling Mom that Tanya’s going to be staying over for the weekend and Ken’s going through another divorce, so he’s moving in tonight. I switched back to Mom, yelling at Dad for springing this on her without even asking. Then I went back to Dad, acting all hurt and accusing by telling Mom that she thought she would say yes to his kids visiting, but she seems set on being an evil stepmother. I switched to Mom acting all guilty and apologizing, then asking how she’s going to switch everything around on short notice. I went back to Dad, telling me that Tanya’s sleeping in my room and I get the couch. I switched back to me, asking Dad if he’s fucking serious. I went back to Mom, suggesting that Tanya sleep on the couch. Then I went back to Dad, asking Mom if she’s seriously going to let his daughter sleep on the couch. I went back to Mom, reminding Dad that I’m his daughter too, even if he does forget that. Then I switched to Dad, once again, accusing Mom of being an evil stepmother who values me more than his children. I switched to Mom apologizing to Dad and then saying that I’m sleeping on the couch. Then I went back to me trying to protest and then turned into Mom telling me not to be selfish and then Dad giving me an accusing look.  I ended the skit with me caving in.

Brian said that my teacher did have a point, Carrie isn’t real literature. I told Brian that, back in ye olde days, people were probably saying the same thing about Shakespeare. Bender turned to Andrew and asked if he believed my story, to which Andrew admitted that he did. This just made Bender angrier as he went to the book-covered table in the back and threw all the books onto the floor in a rage. Then he said that he was done sitting here with us fucking dildos. He jumped onto the table and grabbed the railing on the stairs to the second floor and then pulled himself up and took a seat on the stairs facing away from the rest of us. He looked like he wanted to cry! Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but I was so angry with Bender for implying that my life was perfect I just wanted to show him differently. Besides, it’s not like I said that I didn’t believe him, unlike Andrew. Claire told Andrew that he shouldn’t have done that, to which Andrew replied that Bender lies about everything else, so why wouldn’t he lie about this. I asked Andrew if it was really that hard to believe that Bender’s home life was like that, to which Andrew had no response. I went to go share my lunch with Bender and he looked up at me as I took a seat next to him. Bender demanded to know what I wanted. I just told him that I hate eating alone and asked if he was hungry.

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Bender told me that he doesn’t take charity, so I told him to consider it more of a thank you for helping me with Vernon earlier. Bender pointed out that I didn’t rat him out, so we’re even. I told Bender that I’d take it as Bender-speak for “thanks for covering for me with the knife.” Then I argued that he’s the one who best knows how to handle Vernon and he needs to keep his strength up. Finally, Bender caved in and said that, if it would shut me up, he’ll take half of my fucking lunch. I considered it a victory and let Bender have half of my turkey sandwich and chips. He immediately took a bite out of my sandwich and was surprised that there was no mayo. I explained that my grandpa made it and he doesn’t really believe in condiments. Bender said that condiments aren’t like God, you don’t really have a choice to believe in them or not. I explained to Bender that my grandpa thinks condiments are a luxury. I joked that it could be worse, it could be tofu burgers and soy beans. Bender asked me if I seriously ate that hippie crap and I told him that it was a long story. Bender still gave me a look and I promised him that I’d tell him later.  Then I asked Bender why he didn’t bring his lunch. Bender told me that he was out of cash. Then said that he’d rather spend his money on other things. I asked Bender what he’d spend his money on over the basic necessities of life. Bender answered that he’d spend it on extracurricular activities. I joked if he meant the Physics Club, which made Bender laughed as he quickly said no. Then I asked Bender what he was talking about and he explained that he meant sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. I smiled and said that I really shouldn’t be that surprised. Bender asked me if I expected anything else from the walking bad boy cliche who can’t read words that are more than two syllables. I felt guilty for that false diary reading I did earlier and told Bender that, for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s a total cliche and I’m sure he can read words that are more than two syllables. Bender admitted that he thought my diary was a gift from my dad, so we were both wrong. I told Bender that it’s actually from my counselor, I said to him that I wanted to be a writer and he gave me a journal, telling me to record everything I see because it might make a worthwhile story. Bender remarked that I’m a dweeb. I admitted that I pretty much was.  Then he said that I look pretty hot for a dweeb and I had to turn around so that he didn’t see me blush.  I even joked that, maybe one day, I’ll publish books that will be destroyed by him. Bender told me that, if they become movies, he’ll sneak in and see them, like he does for that Stephen King guy I mentioned. I asked him if he was talking about Carrie. Bender told me that he also saw the one with Jack Nicholson chopping the door up and shouting, “Here’s Johnny!” I chuckled and asked if he meant The Shining and that I guess there is some literature he likes, even if he never read the books. He told me that they’ve got people going psycho and killing everyone, so what’s not to like? I told Bender that I can’t argue with that. Then Bender asked me what I was into other than writing and horror movies. I told Bender that I like music. He asked me what kind and I admitted that I like any kind of music I can dance to, but my favorite is rock like Joan Jett, Simple Minds, Bon Jovi. Bender thought that was awesome and I suggested that we could check out a show sometime. Bender gave a suggestive maybe and then asked me what made me come over here. I told him the truth, that hearing that story really got to me. Bender said that my family wasn’t exactly the Bradies, something I actually agreed to. Then Bender added that at least my mom gives a shit about me. Which I muttered sadly that she does, remembering my last conversation with her that didn’t exactly end well. Bender asked me why my mom puts up with my dad’s bullshit. I said that my dad has a way of getting into your head and added that mine and my mom’s heads are my dad’s summer home. Then I asked Bender why parents like his would even have a kid and quickly added that I didn’t mean that he shouldn’t exist. Bender said that his dad got his mom knocked up in a crack house, causing me to cringe. Call me crazy, but it’s actually quite nice eating with Bender and talking like civilized people. It’s almost like a date. Hey it’s the first time I’ve ever shared lunch with a cute guy and we’re talking to each other, so I’m calling this a date in the loosest definition of the word. Then he said that I can actually be fun to hang out with, when I’m not acting like an uptight bitch. I told Bender that he can actually be good company himself, when he’s not acting like a perverted asshole. He remarked that this perverted asshole feels my hand on his! I quickly removed my hand and blushed, apologizing and explaining that I didn’t realize it was there. He just asked me if I wanted to touch his dick next! I rolled my eyes and said to Bender that the perverted asshole’s back. He responded by saying that so’s the uptight bitch and I turned around so that he wouldn’t see me blush.

12:50 pm and Bender slid out of his chair and jumped to his feet, suggesting that we blow this pop stand. Brian told Bender that Mr. Vernon said we should stay in our seats. Bender said that he needs to stretch his legs and then marched over to the door. Claire asked Bender where he was going to go. Bender casually said that there’s something he wants to get. Andrew asked what it was, but Bender said that it was a surprise. I asked Bender if it was a “yay, I feel so good to be a part of this” kind of surprise, or a “I can’t believe this is happening to me” kind of surprise? Bender said that, if he told us, it would ruin the surprise. Somehow, that does not ease my nerves. Then he asked me if I was up for a field trip and called me, hotshot. I’ll admit, I was curious about what this surprise was, so I said that I could use a walk and told Bender to lead the way. Claire asked if I was serious and I asked her if she was bored. Bender said “That’s the spirit!” and then asked if the rest of us are paying attention. Allison went to Bender’s side and then Claire joined us reluctantly. Andrew shook his head, but he succumbed to peer pressure. Bender just cracked a smile and turned to Brian. Bender called Brian Wonder Worm and asked him if he was ready to blossom into a butterfly. Brian clarified that it’s actually caterpillars that turn into butterflies. Bender just called Brian Captain Caterpillar and asked if he was ready to grow some balls. I told Brian that, if he doesn’t want to come with us, he doesn’t have to and said that no one would judge him. Bender said that he would judge Brian and I explained that I wouldn’t judge him. Brian said that he’ll go and got up, ready to join us. Bender flipped up his collar and checked the hall to see if the coast was clear. Then he told us that Vernon’s gone, gave us the all-clear and disappeared out of sight. The rest of us followed him as he strutted down the empty hallway. Claire asked Bender how he knew where Vernon went. Bender admitted that he didn’t. Claire asked Bender how he knows when Vernon will be back. Bender admitted that he didn’t and said that being bad feels pretty good, huh? I admitted that you can’t say Bender doesn’t keep things interesting, which unnerved and intrigued Claire at the same time. Brian asked where we were going, which Andrew answered with “Beats me.” Brian said that this was stupid and asked why we were risking getting caught. Andrew admitted that he didn’t know. Brian asked what we were doing. Andrew told Brian that if he asks one more question he’s beating the shit out of him. Brian then turned to me and asked if I was worried about what Vernon would do if he catches us. I told Brian to think of it as a video game with Vernon being the final boss. Brian asked if we can defeat Vernon in a way that wouldn’t involve him getting a suspension on his record. I explained that, if we play by Vernon’s rules, he wins. Brian said that, if he got a suspension, he’d lose. Then said a sad goodbye to Yale and a sad hello to community college. I told Brian that, if Vernon catches us, I’ll tell him we took Brian against his will. Brian happily asked if I would do that, which I said that I would and I will. Brian’s going to be a famous scientist making all kinds of breakthroughs that can change the world, but I’m just going to be a writer. You can go to community college for that. Come to think of it, you don’t really need college to be a writer… or high school. So why do my parents and grandpa insist that I get a diploma? Bender distracted me from my thoughts by holding up his fist, signaling us to halt in front of a row of lockers. He sarcastically asked us if we wanted to guess which one was his. I rolled my eyes and pointed to the one that had “Open this locker and you die” graffitied in marker with an actual noose hanging from the top and then sarcastically told Bender that he could’ve made it a bit more difficult. Bender said that he wouldn’t want to hurt my brain and I told Bender to just open the locker because I want to know what I’m risking suspension for. Bender told me not to kill the suspense and acted like a game show host by saying “Ding ding ding. We have a winner folks.”

He said that he’d show us what we’ve won and opened his locker. You wouldn’t believe this, but an actual guillotine came slicing down and chopped one of Bender’s gym sneakers in half! He rifled around through piles of moldy food and stinky clothes, making me cringe. I asked Bender if his maid was on vacation. Bender said that he’d just rather spend his money on this and grabbed a paper bag, pulled out an even smaller paper bag inside which had an even smaller paper bag. It was like I was watching one of those dolls that, when you open the top half, there’s something smaller and smaller and it just goes on and on until it gets to the smallest one. What are those dolls called? Anyway, inside the last paper bag was a small plastic bag which Bender shoved into his pocket and I have a strong suspicion of what’s inside! Claire asked if that’s what she thinks it is. Andrew told Bender to put it back. Brian said that we should forget detention, because we’re going straight to juvie. Then Brian turned to me and was really shocked to see that I was smiling. He asked me if I really approve of this. I said that I’m always down for some extracurricular activities, remembering my conversation with Bender from earlier.

I heard some footsteps nearby and guessed that it was Vernon, saying that we really need to go. Andrew told Bender to put his dope back but Bender said that it was too late. Bender slammed the locker shut and walked away with the rest of us following. Just as we turned the corner, there was Vernon heading back towards the library! We quickly changed direction and ran the other way. Bender told us that we have to go through the cafeteria. Andrew said that we should go through the Activities Hall. Bender told Andrew that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Andrew countered by saying that Bender didn’t know what HE was talking about as Allison squealed. I told them that, if they want to thump their chests, they can do it some other time! Right now, we have a dragon on the loose who’s going to scorch us alive if he catches us! Andrew and Bender looked to me and the latter dared me to tell us where to go. I said that we should go with Bender because he practically lives here on Saturday. Andrew said that we’re through listening to Bender and that we’re going through the Activities Hall. Andrew ran down the hall and everyone, except me and Bender, followed him. I told Bender that we either live together, or die alone. We ended up following the rest of the group rushing down this huge flight of stairs and down a long hall. We turned a corner and ran right into a gated corridor. So now we’re trapped and Vernon will win. Bender slammed the bars with his fist. I only pointed out that we should’ve listened to Bender. Brian panicked by saying that we’re dead. Bender said that we’re not all dead, just him. Then he ordered us to get back to the library and stuffed his dope in Brian’s underwear. I told Bender that, if he gets caught, he’s going to get expelled. Bender told me that, as Sporto said, if he disappeared forever, it wouldn’t make any difference, and someone’s going to have to take the heat for this, or we all will. Andrew sarcastically asked if Bender was going to try and be a hero. I said that I kind of like it, the bad boy with a heart of gold sacrificing himself to save people he’s actually starting to care about. Bender said that he’d love it if one of us dipsticks stepped up to the plate, might make him actually respect us for once. I told Bender that I’d do it. I said to Bender that he’s already in enough trouble as it is. Bender looked at me like I’d grown a second head and said that he guessed he owed me one now. I told Bender that I’ll handle Vernon and that he needed to go. He was about to leave with the rest of them but looked back at me and said that it was my last chance to back out. I responded by saying that I’m not taking it and told Bender to go! He finally left with the rest of the group.

I danced down the hallway, banging into the open locker doors and singing “Bad Reputation” at the top of my lungs in an imaginary microphone. I did this for only a few more minutes until Vernon finally took the bait. I always read about this part in stories, but I never thought I would actually live it! I’m definitely using this as writing experience, might even thank Bender in the acknowledgments, even though he’d never read. He’d probably just rip the pages up, but he did say that he’d see the movie version. Anyway, Vernon spotted me in the hallway and shouted, “Ross!!!” Then he demanded to know what the hell I thought I was doing. I told him that I was practicing for my future rock star debut and asked him if it was too much. He snagged me by the collar and dragged me into an empty classroom! Then he pushed me into one of the desks and ordered me to take a seat! I fell into a chair and braced myself for Vernon’s wrath, knowing it couldn’t be anywhere near as bad as when I got caught with the knife. Then Vernon acted like an old man as he said that he didn’t understand us kids today. I told Vernon that maybe he should’ve chosen a different career. That really pissed the dragon off as he leaned in close and thrusted a finger in my face. Vernon told me that, if I don’t change course, I’m going to end up just like John Bender, a waste of space! I am so sick of this asshole making assumptions about everyone! I told Vernon that Bender’s got a rough life and he’s just trying to figure things out!

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Vernon asked me if that’s what he’s got me believing. I told Vernon that it’s the truth but it’s not like he gives a fuck! Then I added that, even if Bender did turn over a new leaf, he’d be saying that it wouldn’t be long until he’s back to his old ways! Vernon said that this isn’t about Bender, this is about me! What the fuck does this asshole know about me? Then he told me to take some time to think about that essay I’m supposed to write! As Vernon was leaving I told him that I had two ideas for the essay, one that says I’m a delinquent with no hope of redemption whatsoever and Shermer High was wasting it’s time on me and another that says I’m a dutiful student who smiles and does whatever she’s told, never questioning the great Vernon. He turned around and glared at me as I said that maybe I’d combine the two, talk about what a worthless delinquent I was at my old school until he straightened me out with a Saturday detention and harsh punishment. Vernon, once again, leaned in close with a look that said he wanted to punch my lights out. I told Vernon not to worry, I won’t write anything about how his “harsh punishments” are borderline torture. Vernon demanded to know if the essay was a joke to me. I innocently explained to Vernon that I just wanted to know what he wanted me to write. Vernon harshly told me that what he wants is for me to take my essay seriously and not treat it like a joke like I have with some of my essays in the past. Then he marched through the doorway and pulled the door closed behind him, locking it and keeping me prisoner, yet I couldn’t help but smile. Vernon may have me locked in Shermer High’s version of solitary confinement, but I won this round.

1:40 pm and I’m alone in an empty classroom trying not to let my mind wander and failing big time. I tried to at least picture myself on the Enterprise serving Captain Kirk, as part of the Rebel Alliance fighting alongside Luke Skywalker, or even a customer at Cheers chatting about my awful day with Sam Malone. Unfortunately, I kept picturing my last meeting with Mom after I got expelled, how she screamed at me and how she told me that maybe Dad’s right, I am a lost cause. Then I heard a door shut nearby and put my ear up to a wall hearing Vernon tell Bender that it’s the last time he ever makes him look bad. Right, because you really needed Bender’s help for that. Then asked Bender if he thought that Vernon couldn’t figure out that he put me up to my little rock show. Vernon kept picking on Bender by telling him that he makes $31,000 a year and he’s got a home and he’s not about to throw it away on some punk like him but someday, when he’s out of here and he’s forgotten all about this place and they’ve forgotten all about him and he’s wrapped up in his own pathetic life, Vernon’s going to be there and he’s going to kick the living shit out of Bender and knock his dick in the dirt! Bender just calmly asked if Vernon was threatening him and, maybe it was my imagination, but he sounded a little scared! Vernon asked Bender what he’s going to do about it, almost taunting him and then asked if anyone would believe him, if anyone would take Bender’s word over Vernon’s! Vernon said that he’s a man of respect around here and they love him while Bender’s a lying sack of shit and everybody knows it! Then I heard something click and Vernon shouting at Bender to get on his feet and show him just how tough he really is, even offering to give Bender the first punch! I couldn’t take it anymore! I just shouted through the wall at Vernon to leave Bender alone! Vernon just remarked that now Bender’s got the expelled delinquent for a witness! Bender told me to stay out of this! Vernon then made it clear to me that no one’s going to believe me either and he’s right. Grandpa’s not going to take my word over that asshole’s. The only one who’d believe me is Mom, even if we did have a bad falling out, and she’s back in Detroit. Why did she have to send me away? Why couldn’t she have divorced Dad and come here? Bender then told Vernon to leave me alone! Vernon asked Bender what he’s going to do about it and then demanded that Bender hit him! I shouted at Bender not to, telling him that Vernon’s not worth it! I felt the tears roll down my eyes as I heard Vernon say that it’s what he thought and called Bender a gutless turd! Then Vernon shouted at me that he hoped I heard that because, if I don’t straighten out, it’s going to be me in there! I expected some sarcastic remark from Bender but, instead, there was silence. I remembered how sad and vulnerable Bender was when Andrew said that he didn’t believe his story and to think that Bender’s alone with no one to comfort him! Bender didn’t even have anyone to comfort him at home, or even a small memory of someone who loved him! All I could do was go back to my desk and cry in my arms with only one thought in my head, Vernon won.

I buried my head in my arms, continuing to bawl while wishing Mom was here or that I was back home and this was all just one bad dream. Then I found myself startled by a noise that came from the ceiling. Guess who it was, Bender coming to my rescue! I saw his head dangling down from an open square in the ceiling tiles! He casually asked, “Mind if I drop in?” I smiled at Bender and asked if he was okay. Bender told me that it was nothing he couldn’t handle. Then he climbed down from the ceiling vent and took a seat next to me. I asked Bender what he was doing here. Bender said that he owed me one, like he told me earlier, and this is my payback. I turned to face Bender and he noticed that my eyes were red. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that it’s nothing, just pissed that the asshole gets to keep his job. Bender said that there’s really nothing we can do about that and, as much as he hated to admit it, Dick’s right, no one’s going to take our word over his. I angrily asked Bender if that meant that Vernon’s just going to keep doing fucked up shit and getting away with it! Bender responded by mocking me and saying that we’re in a Disney movie where the good guys always win and the bad guys always lose! I told Bender that I’m not some naive child and I’m well-aware that, in real life, the bad guy wins but he’s just the Vice Principal! I pointed out that the Principal can’t be letting him get away with this! Bender scoffed and said that the Principal’s a lazy fuck who gives Vernon most of the heavy lifting. He told me that, even if he did believe us which, according to Bender, was a big if, he won’t do a fucking thing and Dick will be ten times worse. I bitterly remarked that we just stay silent and, from the tone of my voice, Bender must have figured out that I had quite a bit of experience with that. Then Bender told me that I wasn’t silent when I was talking to Vernon earlier. I told Bender that I was just being honest. He remarked that I was also committing academic suicide. I acted nonchalant about the whole thing and said “What can I say?” Bender said that, as much as he’d love to stay and chat, we should probably get this show on the road. I asked Bender if we have to leave through the vents. Bender sarcastically responded by saying that we’re leaving through the locked door. Then said that of course he meant the vents, they lead straight back to the library. Bender told me that we need to get the hell out of here, which you don’t have to tell me twice. I crawled through the vent and slowly inched forward as Bender led the way. It was a little dark and cramped in the vents and I swear I heard a few creaking noises. Not to mention that I’m right behind Bender and getting a great view of his ass. Dear God, did I really think that? One thing’s for sure, if Bender reads this diary, I’ll die. I asked Bender if he really thinks this is going to hold our weight. Bender told me to relax and just keep moving. So, I continued following Bender through the vent and he started telling a joke to ease the tension about a naked blonde walking into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. Bender said that the blonde lays the poodle on the table and the bartender says, “I suppose you won’t be needing a drink,” the naked lady says… What the naked lady said, I never found out as the bottom of the vent broke right under us! We fell through the ceiling and landed on the top floor of the library while everyone else just stared at us with their mouths agape like we were animals at a zoo. Bender and I walked down the stairs and dusted ourselves off. It’s just our luck that it was the same moment Vernon busted the door open and ran into the library. I saw Bender head for Andrew and Claire’s table and followed him. I heard Vernon demanding to know what in God’s name was going on in here and what that ruckus was! I wish I wasn’t hiding from Vernon, because I’d really love to gaslight him right now. Unfortunately, Bender and I had to stay quiet under Claire and Andrew’s table while everyone else pretended like they didn’t even know what Vernon was talking about. Andrew asked Vernon “What ruckus?” Vernon said that he was just in his office and he heard a ruckus as Bender tried to look up Claire’s skirt. Brian asked Vernon if he could describe the ruckus. Vernon told Brian to watch his tongue as I was crouching nervously under the table pushing Bender away from Claire. I inhaled a puff of dust and started to choke! Thankfully, Claire started coughing to cover it up. Then she asked Vernon if that was the noise he was talking about. Vernon said that it wasn’t and that he might not have caught us in the act this time, but we can bet that he will. Yeah, good luck with that. Allison started giggling and Vernon told her to mark his words, he will not be made a fool of. Too late, Vernon. Then he finally left and Bender and I got out from under the tables as the others laughed at who knows what while Bender glared at me, saying that I didn’t have to spoil his fun. I told Bender that I wasn’t about to let him look up Claire’s skirt. Claire thanked me for keeping the pervert away from her while Bender smirked at me and accused me of being jealous to which I sarcastically responded that it’s been my life long dream to have John Bender stick his head between my legs. He told me to say the word and he’ll make it a reality. Again, there goes my stupid heart pounding but I’m better at covering up my blushes. Still, I can’t help but wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Finally, the other students looked at us, no doubt waiting for an explanation. I decided to be cool about this as I leaned against a bookshelf, catching my breath. Okay, the last part wasn’t exactly cool but I covered it up by saying “Come on… you know I couldn’t leave you guys.” Claire told me that what I did was really cool. I asked her what was cool and she said that it was how I sacrificed myself for the rest of them. Brian said that he wouldn’t have had the nerve to do that and that my legend continues to grow. Andrew agreed by saying that I really helped them out, but I’m also kind of crazy. Allison said that crazy is just a higher level of consciousness. All I could say was… your welcome. Bender headed over to Brian and stuck out his hand saying, “So, Ahab… Kybo mein doobage?” Brian was a little confused, as was I, but then he explained that he was talking about the package in Brian’s underpants. Brian dug around his pants and handed the plastic bag to Bender. Andrew told Bender that he’s not doing that in here. Bender said that we should put it to a vote. Then he asked me if I felt like taking a “study break.”

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Let me tell you a secret, I’ve always wanted to try dope and, now that I’ve finally got a chance, I’m taking it. I told Bender that I am a creative type, so it’s only natural that I smoke some pot. I added that I didn’t take the risk not to reap the rewards. Bender said that now I was talking and started toward the back of the library. I followed after him, Claire got up to join us, then Brian, Andrew gave into peer pressure once again and only Allison stayed behind.

2:05 pm and I am so fucking high right now. The whole room’s surrounded by a think haze, kind of like a smoke machine at a rock concert. Except, instead of singing to a cheering crowd, we’re chilling on the couches in the back of the library. Brian’s wearing sunglasses and he looks like a detective from one of those procedural cop shows. He said, “You’re crazy, man. Crazy,” and fell back into a giggling fit. Claire kept rambling about how popular she is and how everybody loves her, which Bender laughed along to. He’s so chill when he’s not acting like a total douchebag. Claire asked me what I was like back at my old high school. I told her that I kept to myself, mostly, like a lone wolf. Claire said that she didn’t get it, because the whole point of school is to make friends. Brian said that the whole point of school is to get into college so you can get into graduate school so you can get a good career. Then Bender chimed in by saying that you spend the rest of your life behind a desk until you’re old and grey. Which he said a quick “No, thanks,” to. I said that they were both wrong. I explained that the whole point of school was to suck out everything unique about you so you can be a mindless robot just like everyone else. Bender said that it’s what he meant by spending life behind a desk. Then I looked around and noticed that Andrew wasn’t here. I asked where the pretty boy jock went and I think I saw a jealous look in Bender’s eyes. I was about to comment on that when a rock song blasted from a smaller room inside the library! The door whipped open and there was Andrew emerging through a wall of smoke like a rock star! I said, “speak of the Sporto,” as Andrew unzipped his sweatshirt and pumped his fist to the music! He took off running through the library, dancing at a million miles an hour! Then he executed a series of acrobatic moves like cartwheels and… other stuff over the bookshelves! I jumped out of my chair and screamed “Wooooo! You’re a regular Mary Lou Retton!” Andrew jumped on a bench, pulled off his sweatshirt, and beat his chest while the rest of us hooted and hollered!

Now if he could only take his top off and give us all a real treat! I asked Andrew who taught him to dance, John Travolta’s grandma? Everyone laughed like the high goofballs we are while Andrew danced back into the music room and slammed the door, pumping his fists and screaming! He even managed to break the glass door, shattering it into a pile of shards! Allison observed Andrew and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that she had a little crush on our resident jock. Andrew called out to me through the broken glass. He asked me if I think I could do better and challenged me to a dance-off! I asked Andrew what the winner gets. Andrew said that, if I win, I get his varsity jacket but, if he wins, I have to write his essay. I told Andrew that I accept his challenge as everyone else shouted their approval. Andrew said “Let’s do this.” I only had one condition, I get to choose the music. Andrew agreed to it and asked me what it’s going to be. I said that I wanted Kansas, Carry On Wayward Son! Andrew agreed to this, cued up a rock track and hit play. The beat pumped through the speakers as I got on my feet and faced off against Andrew! Andrew told me to show them what I’ve got and I did, launching into some power rock moves and ending with some nasty air guitar playing! I dared Andrew to top that and he looked a little nervous, like he didn’t even know who he was fighting against. I told Andrew that I’m not a dancer, which he agreed with. So I told Andrew “let’s see what you got.” Andrew launched into his own routine, which was decent but nowhere near as good as mine! I turned to the rest of the crew and asked them what the survey says. Brian voted for me, Allison voted for Andrew, Claire apologized to Andrew and voted for me and last, but certainly not least, Bender voted for me! Brian said that it was 3-1, so I win! I told Sporto to hand the jacket over and reached my hand towards him. Andrew passed the jacket to me, saying that I won it fair and square, but he seemed sad to part with it. He looked like he was parting from a dear friend he’d known since childhood. So I gave the jacket back to Andrew and told him to never make a bet when you’re on a “study break.” He thanked me and said that it was pretty cool of me, but I told Andrew that I’m keeping the title, which he agreed to. Andrew raised my hand in the air as I shouted “Jasmine! Shermer High Dance Champion 1985!” I raised both hands in the air like I was Rocky as the others cheered me on!

2:23 pm and the pot’s wearing off. We’re all winding down after our “study break.” I asked Brian if he had a middle name and he told me to guess. Allison approached us and sat next to Brian. She said that Brian’s middle name was Ralph… as in puke. Then she said that Brian’s birthday is March 12th, he’s five-nine and a half, he weighs a hundred and thirty pounds and his social security number is 049380913. I remembered that Allison was the one who stole his wallet in history class and asked if that’s what she did. Guess what, she did steal Brian’s wallet. Then she showed it to us as Brian weakly demanded that she give it back to him. Allison refused, despite Brian’s insistent demanding. Allison tossed the wallet to me and I checked Brian’s ID. I told Brian that it was the worst fake ID I’ve ever seen, because he made himself 68! Brian admit that he goofed it. I asked him what he needed a fake ID for. Brian said that it was so he could vote, which we all laughed at. I’ve heard of people having fake IDs, but usually it’s to buy alcohol or get into clubs, not so you can vote. Then I said that this is probably going to sound really weird, but today has been the best day I’ve had in a long time. Brian said that he felt the same way. Claire laughed and said that it was the saddest thing she ever heard. I told Claire that I’m serious. Andrew said that he agreed with us. Bender pointed out that he’s going to be here every Saturday for the next two months, so we’re all welcome to join him. I told Bender that, best day or not, I need to catch up on my meetings with the stay home and sleep club. Claire turned to me and pointed out that we’ve been stuck together all day but none of them really know anything about me. Bender agreed and said that I should tell them something weird about me. I told them that my brother once tricked me into drinking a glass of fat. That grossed everyone out, even Claire who I saw eating raw fish at lunch. Allison just smiled and asked me how my brother tricked me. I explained that he told me it was cider. Then I admitted that I threw it up right after tasting it. Then Allison said that she knows something about me that I’m not telling them! She pulled a crumbled piece of paper from her bag and dangled it in front of the group! Now I’ve got a situation to resolve that could either make or break me.

A/N: Hope you like this chapter!  You can RP in the comments, if you can figure out how to RP as this is a private diary.  Unless your character is the type to steal someone’s else’s diary.

The Breakfast Club Episode 1 Recap

A/N: This is a recap of The Breakfast Club from Series: Your Universe, which will be closing down in December.  It’s a gift to BloodRoseRed, who loved the series and even wrote her own fanfic for it called Beauty and the Brain.  If you recognize it from The Breakfast Club movie or from the story on Series: Your Universe, I don’t own it.

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Dear Diary,

Jasmine Ross here and I just got transferred to Shermer High, my new school that my dad forced me to go to while my mom was too chicken shit to stand up to him. The counselor from my last school gave this to me before I left and said that I should write anything that happens to me. He told me to think of it as less of a diary and more of a writer’s journal, that there are interesting stories all around me and, if I record my life, I might find something worth publishing. What a joke. Nothing that interesting happened to me at my old school and my new school will be exactly the same. On my first day, I met a cute young blond boy who said he liked my outfit. I told him that I wanted to make a good first impression. He said that I succeeded, making me feel happy about my outfit choice. He remarked that it sucks to be the new kid. I admitted that I was a little nervous. Then he told me that all I really need is one good friend, which sounds a bit after school specially and I pointed that out. The boy was a little confused about my words, but admitted that it’s from a motivational poster he has in his bedroom.

I told him that would explain it. Then I introduced myself to him and he told me his name was Brian. He said that, if I like history, then I’m in for a treat. According to him, Mrs. Russell keeps class pretty interesting and he claims that I’ll love her. I told him that any history teacher would be better than my last one, he droned on in monotone and made even the most brutal facts sound as dull as reading off the ingredients of a candy bar. Brian gave a nervous chuckle when we walked in.

Unfortunately, unless Mrs. Russell got a sex change operation, it wasn’t her. It was a man in a dated suit filling in for her and boy did he look pissed.

I told Brian that it definitely wasn’t how I pictured Mrs. Russell, leaving out the part about the sex change operation. He explained that the man is Vice Principal Vernon. Brian didn’t have time to go into further detail as Vernon immediately ordered us to listen up. He explained that our “beloved” Mrs. Russell is out for the rest of the semester. Hey, I didn’t even get to meet Mrs. Russell, so she wasn’t really “beloved” to me. Apparently, she was exhausted and had to go on holiday for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, that means Vernon’s filling in and I can already tell I’m not going to like this guy before everyone in the class gave disappointed sighs. Vernon claims that we might actually get an education for a change, but I get the feeling he’s going to be like my last history teacher, only meaner. A cute guy in a letterman jacket must have read my mind, because he remarked that we’ll only get an education if it’s a course on how to be an asshole.

Vernon called the boy Andrew Clark and asked if he’d care to repeat that while I couldn’t stop the small chuckle that emerged, earning a glare from Vernon which I quickly covered up with a cough. Then his attention returned to Andrew, who he stared at for a painfully long time. Finally, Andrew gave in and looked down at his desk. Vernon took it as a victory, but I don’t think winning a staring contest is something to brag about.

Then Brian’s wallet fell out of his pocket and onto the floor. This strange girl with shaggy hair stepped on it and slid it under her long skirt.

Vernon turned his attention back to me and introduced me as the new student joining us today. Great, my first day and I’m already in the spotlight. He welcomed me which, in all honesty, was the nicest thing he’s done in the few minutes I knew him. Then he asked me to tell everyone why I’m at Shermer with this deadly glare as if he already knew. I take that back, he is 100% asshole. I said that I needed a fresh start and Shermer’s as good a place as any. Vernon told me that it certainly sounded like I could use one. Great, I try to be nice and all I get is a metaphorical slap in the face. I wanted to know what Vernon meant and he explained that he read my file, like I’m some kind of criminal! Thankfully, a girl with red hair dressed in pink sort of came to my defense and asked if that was kind of… private. Hell yeah! Isn’t invasion of privacy against the law? Then the asshole hones in on the girl, who’s name he said was Claire, and says that it’s none of her concern! Considering she’s one of your students, I think that is her concern! Claire suggested that we just get on with class, since it’s getting late. Vernon picked on Claire some more and asked her if she of all people should talk about being late for class! Claire only looked down and took his abuse. Then Vernon talked about how he controls the time in this class! Brian politely told him that time manipulation is a physical impossibility. Yeah, way to stick it to the man, Brian. He ended up getting Vernon’s unwanted attention. Brian explained that he did a paper on time and got an A. Vernon just told Brian to watch himself unless he wants detention NEXT Saturday, too! This guy needs to use his holiday time for a trip to the hospital so that a doctor can surgically remove the stick up his ass. Claire and Andrew snickered, getting Vernon’s unwanted attention as he told them both to keep their mouths shut. Then said that they’re both already in enough trouble as it is. I swear, I’d give this guy a piece of my mind if I could just find the courage. Then, for no reason, he rounds on me and says that the same goes for me! The nerve of this asshole! As if he read my mind, he told me that this “asshole” is starting to get agitated. There were so many things I wanted to respond with, like how they make ointments for that kind of agitation or how pathetic it is for him to pick fights with kids. Instead, I chickened out and said that Claire’s right, maybe we should just start class. Then I claimed that everyone’s just excited to get class started. Because the sooner we get this class over with, the sooner we can leave. Claire said that I was right and claimed that she loves history. Vernon’s still picking on me as he told me that he doesn’t know what kind of crap I got away with at my old school, but brown-nosing won’t get me anywhere with him. Hey, I wasn’t trying to brown-nose! I was just trying to avoid conflict, which didn’t work in my favor. I told Vernon that it’s like he said, we’re going to learn something… for a change. Vernon glared at me and said that he didn’t buy it. He called me Miss Not-So-Goody-Two-Shoes and said that I just bought myself Saturday detention!

Can you believe this guy? I’m getting detention for doing absolutely nothing! Then he welcomed me to Shermer High, which is apparently run by an evil dictator. Believe me when I say that’s the nice way of putting it. He slammed a detention slip on my desk and said that he’d see me Saturday. Then he called me Sunshine! Great, not only does he make me get up early on a Saturday, he also has to give me a crappy nickname.

Now it’s seven am on a Saturday and, not only am I up, but I am in the car with Grandpa stopped in front of the school. He gave me this lecture about how he promised my parents that he’d make sure I’d get my diploma. I told Grandpa that Dad doesn’t care if I get a diploma. Hell, I could drop out and spend the rest of my life stripping in Vegas and he wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. Grandpa responded by telling me that my mom cares, asking me if I really wanted to disappoint her. I told Grandpa that, if Mom heard this, she’d march right over to the school and give Vernon a piece of her mind. Grandpa ignored me and told me to keep my head down and my nose clean. He claimed that he loved me but, if he must, he’ll make life very unpleasant for me. Then said that, if I screw up here, my next stop is Calvin Military Academy. I know Mom’s not good at standing up to Dad or Grandpa, but I’d like to think that she’d put her foot down on me getting sent to a military academy. She’s the only reason I got sent here instead. Finally I just told Grandpa “Yeah,” in case I was wrong about Mom having enough courage to stand up to the men in her life. Grandpa gave me unsolicited advice about being mindful of who I make friends with. According to him, the people I surround myself with define me and he’s hoping that I surround myself with better people this time. I just thanked Grandpa, wanting to get this day over and done with. I got out of the car and, just as Grandpa started to pull away, he nearly ran over this surly-looking burnout who looked rather scary but also cute!

Thankfully, Grandpa stopped the brakes before he could send anyone to the hospital. The burnout shouted to Grandpa to watch where he’s going, calling him a jerk-off, and shouted that he could’ve killed him! Then he caught my eye and flashed me a grin, causing me to turn away and blush.

I walked into the library and who should be there but the four kids that I somewhat met in History Class, the burnout Grandpa nearly ran over and the evil dictator himself, Vernon? My only consolation is that he looks as miserable as I feel. He checked his watch and said that I was late, which I have to make up for at the end of detention. He ordered me to take a seat and said that I’ve got quite a cast of characters to choose from. There was Brian, the cute geek, that girl who took Brian’s wallet and seems to be a bit of a basket case, Claire who seemed to be the princess of Shermer High and tried to help me out sitting with Andrew, the cute athlete who made me laugh and last but not least was that cute guy who smiled at me earlier and Grandpa nearly ran over with the typical bad boy look, almost criminal. It’s like Vernon collected all of the high school stereo-types and gathered them into one room. For some inexplicable reason, I found myself drawn to the bad boy. So, I took a breath to calm my beating heart and sat with the guy Grandpa nearly ran over. At least, I tried to but he just sat with his feet up on the other chair and blocked any chance I had of sitting with him. I was about to move but I found myself cracking a joke to calm my nerves. I told the bad boy that I heard it’s not healthy to keep his legs up like that. He just nonchalantly asked why that is and, once again, my mouth was running like a nonstop car engine because I told the bad boy that his balls would shrink, permanently. Dear God, why did I say that? What possessed me to say something so stupid? I earned a glare from Vernon, who warned me that he heard that. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as the bad boy cracked a small smile at me and swung his legs off the side of the desk. Okay, so maybe what I said wasn’t that stupid if it got me a smile from him. Either that, or he’s mocking my pathetic attempt at humor and letting me sit next to him out of pity. Okay, Jasmine, your thoughts are going in a negative direction again. Don’t over-analyze the situation and just roll with it. I took the seat next to him and watched Vernon.

Vernon told us that we’re going to try something a little different today as he placed a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of each of us. He told us that we’re going to write an essay about everything good about the other people here as if we were in Kindergarten. Actually, we’re writing a thousand word essay describing to him who we think we are. Really, we need a thousand words to accomplish that? I’m Jasmine Ross, a closet geek who wants to be a famous writer and easily gives into peer pressure. Really don’t need a thousand words to describe that. Vernon claimed that we might learn a little something about ourselves, but what could we possibly learn from this? Then he threatened us by saying that maybe we’ll even decide whether or not we care to return to detention. I never wanted to be in detention in the first place. Brian rose his hand and then stood up, saying that he could answer that question right now. He said that it would be no for him because— I didn’t get to hear why as Vernon made him sit down, which Brian actually thanked him for and sat back down! Vernon told us that his office is right across that hall and any monkey business is ill-advised. Then he asked the rest of us if we had any questions. The sooner this guy gets out of here the better, so I stayed silent as Vernon kept looking at us as if he expected one of us to pull out a gun and start shooting up the library. Then he, once again, asked if anyone had any questions. That’s it, I’m through being Miss Nice Girl. Next time he looks for trouble like this, I’ll give it to him. The guy next to me answered before I could and asked Vernon if Barry Manilow knows that he raids his wardrobe.

I couldn’t help but snort a bit as Vernon angrily told Mr. Bender, which I guess is his name, that he’ll give him the answer to that question next Saturday. Then Vernon told Bender not to mess with the bull or he’ll get the horns. I thought to myself that, even if we don’t mess with the bull, we’ll still get the horns. Vernon glared at me and, for a minute, I thought he read my mind. Then he said that, if I think I’ll get away with the same crap I pulled at my last school, I’d be sorely mistaken. Then he finally left, which was what I wanted him to do earlier.

Bender turned to me and asked what I did to become the apple of Vernon’s eye and I felt my heart pound a bit. Dear God, why does this guy make my heart pound? I told Bender the truth, that I got into a bit of trouble at my old school. He wanted to know what kind of trouble and Claire told me that I don’t have to tell them if I don’t want to. Bender demanded to know what I did that’s got Vernon’s panties in such a bunch. I told Bender that I tried to stay on Vernon’s good side, but he kept treating me like I was some sort of trouble maker, which made Bender scoff at me like I was some naive child! Andrew told Bender to leave me alone, because I just got here. Bender turned on Andrew and wanted to know if he was in love with me or was just looking at anyone with a pulse so he can finally lose his virginity. It was my turn to scoff, because a cute jock that can have any girl in the school he wants isn’t going to be wasting his time on me and something tells me that his virginity is long gone by now. Bender remarked that it looked like the new girl thinks she’s too good for him. I blushed and tried to explain that it’s not why I scoffed and, when Bender wanted to know what else it could be, Andrew told Bender to stop harassing me and, just because he lives here doesn’t give him the right to be a pain in the ass. Bender told Andrew that it’s a free country and Andrew just kept glaring at Bender who turned his attention back to me. Then said that they’re waiting. I tried to explain that I don’t think I’m too good for Andrew, but Bender said that he was asking about my expulsion. Claire told me to just ignore Bender, but he told Claire that she couldn’t ignore him if she tried. Of course, he has his eye on Claire. I said that I didn’t know about Claire, but he definitely has my attention. I’m just a motor mouth today. Bender narrowed his eyes at me as everyone else stared and I wanted to crawl into a corner and die. Bender asked me if that was so, making me feel even more embarrassed. Then he told Claire that I think he’s charming. I told Bender that I never said he was charming, just that he had my attention. Then added that, until today, I always thought that walking bad boy cliches like him only existed in formulaic high school movies. Bender responded by asking me if I wanted to play the sweet innocent girl who thinks they can “change the bad boy” which made Claire gag and me blush, but I turned away before anyone could see. At least, I tried to. Andrew saw and told me that, if he was me, he’d stay away from Bender. Andrew’s right, the last thing I want to do is get hung up on a guy who’s got the hots for the school princess. Bender told Andrew that, if he was him, he’d jump off a bridge. Andrew responded by telling Bender that if he disappeared forever, it wouldn’t make any difference. The strange girl I still didn’t know the name of picked her head off the desk and leaned in. Bender joked that he could just run out and join the wrestling team, maybe the prep club too. Andrew told Bender that the wrestling team wouldn’t take him. Brian said that he’s in the Math Club. Claire asked Bender if he knew why guys like him knock everything. Then said that it’s because he’s afraid that they won’t take him. Brian then said that he’s in the Latin Club. Bender sarcastically asked if it had anything to do with activities people like them being assholes. Claire said that Bender wouldn’t know because he doesn’t know any of them. Bender fought back by saying that he doesn’t know any lepers either, but he’s not going to run out and join one of their freaking clubs. Then Brian said that he’s in the Physics Club too. Bender noticed Brian and said to excuse him a sec and asked Brian what he was babbling about. Brian again said that he’s in the Math Club, The Latin Club and The Physics Club. Bender turned to Claire and asked her if she belongs to the Physics Club. Claire snobbishly said that academic clubs aren’t the same as other kinds of clubs! Bender pointed out that, to dorks like Brian, they are. Then he asked if I was joining any clubs. I told Bender that, today, I was supposed to have a one-woman meeting with the stay home and sleep in club, but detention made me cancel it. Bender mocked me by asking me if getting detention got it the way of my perfect life! I told Bender that my life is far from perfect. Andrew warned us that, if we keep on talking, Vernon’s going to come right in here. I agreed with Andrew and said that, I don’t know about the rest of them, but I don’t want a visit from our own personal leper. Andrew added that he’s got a meet next Saturday and he’s not missing it on account of us acting like boneheads. Bender said that would be a real bite, missing a whole wrestling meet. Andrew told Bender that it was easy for him to say as he doesn’t have any goals. Bender sarcastically remarks that he does, he wants to be just like Andrew. Then added that all he needs is a lobotomy and some tights. Look, I’m not deluded. I know I don’t have a chance with either one of them, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Bender pick on Andrew when he’s been nothing but nice to me! I told Bender that I think it’s cool Andrew’s so committed to the wrestling team. Andrew used that against Bender by saying that I understand the value of competition. Bender countered by saying that it sounds like I’m more interested in Andrew’s jock than he is and Andrew looked like he wanted to punch the satisfied smirk off of Bender’s face! I explained nervously that I have relatives who’s number one goal is to see how much TV they can marathon in one day and they usually come to my parents’ house to achieve that. So I told them that I admire anyone with ambition. Claire asked if I really had loser relatives like that. Before I could answer, I saw Vernon exit his office and head down the library through the open library door and quickly pointed it out.

Bender suggested that we close that door, since we can’t have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds. Brian asked if we should be getting started on our essays. Bender rolled his eyes at Brian and turned his attention to me. Then he asked me if I was going to help him close the door and called me hotshot. I told Bender that I would be his lookout. I said that Vernon will get pissed no matter what we do, so we might as well go that extra mile. Bender told me that he’s glad that I finally got some common sense and told me to come on. I followed Bender towards the library door, wondering if I was doing the right thing. Especially since following a bad crowd was what got me expelled in the first place. He told me to look out for Vernon while he gets the door closed. My heart started pounding again, so I quickly turned away as I tried not to think about how I was, once again, letting myself go along with what other people wanted. No, this is different. I’m doing this to get back at Vernon and no one’s pressuring me into doing anything I don’t want to do. That strange girl from earlier looked up from her drawing and kept staring at me and Bender, making me a little uncomfortable. Andrew told us not to mess around right when the screw came out and the door slammed shut. Andrew remarked that it was very funny and told us to fix it. Bender and I just returned to our seats and I told Andrew that we already did. Then we heard Vernon walk down the hall. He jerked the door right open and rushed into the library. Let me tell you, he did not look happy. Vernon demanded to know who closed that door. Bender told Vernon that he thinks a screw fell out of it. Yeah, with Bender’s help. Vernon just stuck out his hand and demanded the screw from Bender, who told our reigning dictator that he didn’t have it. Then Bender said that screws fall out all the time, the world’s an imperfect place. Vernon turned to me and demanded to know why that door’s closed. Forget it, Vernon, you had a chance to be on my good side and you blew it. So I told Vernon that a screw fell out and the door slammed, just like Bender said.

This just pissed Vernon off as he said, “my ass it did!” Bender joked that Vernon’s right, maybe the screw is up his ass which made me chuckle which I, once again, covered up with a cough. Vernon told Bender that he just scored himself another Saturday in detention. Bender told Vernon to add it to his tab. Vernon said that he’s going to be right outside those doors and, the next time he has to come in here, he’s cracking skulls. Vernon opened the door and it slammed shut behind him.

9:30 and I’m bored. Bender managed to find something to do by tearing the pages out of a book and tossing them around the room. Andrew remarked that it was real intelligent. Bender said that Andrew’s right, it’s wrong to destroy literature because it’s such fun to read. I told Bender that it depends on what you read. Bender stared at my diary and said that he’d love to read that sometime! I told Bender that, unfortunately for him, the only one allowed to read it is me. Bender talked about how sad he was that he won’t get to read about my crush on Sporto and how he doesn’t know I exist! Then the asshole mocked me by trying to imitate me, or this weak pathetic version of me, and went “Dear Diary, I just saw Andrew leave from wrestling practice! He’s such a dream boat with that wind swept brown hair and perfect abs! I just wish he would notice me!” Andrew told Bender to leave me alone and was about ready to punch him, but I countered by telling Bender that he couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t know why I did this, but I pretended to read my diary and said, “Dear Diary, Bender’s tearing up the literature, probably out of frustration that he doesn’t know how to read any words that are more than two syllables. It’s a shame that he can’t be more than his stereo-type, but I guess some people are just simple minded like that.” Bender interrupted by pretending to be flattered that I wrote about him. So I finished by saying, “He keeps harassing me and Claire but, after he made that comment about Andrew’s perfect abs, I wonder if he’s not secretly hiding his true feelings for our resident jock.” Claire laughed while Andrew looked at me like I had gone insane. Bender responded by inviting me to the broom closet to show me just how “gay” he is. Claire asked Bender if he’s sure he doesn’t want to invite Andrew. Bender retaliated by asking Claire to come with us so he can get Ginger and Mary Anne in one go.

Brian nervously changed the subject by saying that what I did yesterday was really cool. Bender asked Brian what I did yesterday. Brian explained that Vernon was giving Claire a hard time in history class. Bender faked panicking by saying not dear sweet Claire. Claire told Bender to knock it off. Brian continued his story by saying that Vernon was really laying into Claire and Andrew. Claire finished Brian’s story by saying that I handled Vernon brilliantly by having the perfect response. I never thought I would see the day when the school’s princess actually complimented me in a way that wasn’t a secret insult. Brian explained that it’s why I’m in detention today. Andrew even said that it was pretty ballsy. I told them that it was nothing and I’m sure they would’ve done the same thing. Bender remarked that he wouldn’t have. Andrew told Bender that of course he wouldn’t have. I admitted that I hope that I don’t get grounded over it. Mom wouldn’t ground me over it but Grandpa on the other hand. Andrew sympathized and said that he knows how that would go and then looked over at Claire. He asked her if she was grounded tonight. I’m guessing that Andrew and Claire are the It couple of Shermer High. Claire explained that her mom said she was, but her dad told her just to blow her off. Andrew said that there’s a big party at Stubbie’s and his parents are in Europe so it should be pretty wild. Then asked Claire if she’s going to go. In other words, he’s asking her out so maybe they’re not a couple and Andrew was trying to correct that. Claire said that she doubts it. Andrew asked why, so Claire explained that if she does what her mother tells her not to do it’s because her dad says it’s okay and then it’ll cause a major fight. Then explained that, with her parents, it’s like any minute divorce which is a total drag and said that she doesn’t think either one of them gives a shit about her. The sad thing is I know how she feels. Bender mocked Claire for being a poor little rich girl and the strange girl laughed with him, which shocked everyone in the room. Claire gave the strange girl the finger and told her and Bender to shut up. Bender just mocked her further by being surprised at obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. Claire said that she’s not THAT pristine and then Bender asked Claire if she was a virgin. Claire just looked down at her feet and stayed silent. Bender kept harassing Claire by saying that he bets a million dollars that she is! Okay, that’s it! I don’t care how cute Bender is! He is out of line! I snidely told Bender that it sounds like he’s just projecting, which caught that smug asshole off guard. I explained to Bender that maybe he’s insecure about his own sexual scorecard. He only scoffed at me by saying that I don’t know anything about him, which he’s right, and then turned his attention back to Claire. Then said that we should end the suspense by asking Claire if it’s going to be a white wedding! Claire told Bender to just shut up and she started crying. Andrew told Bender to leave her alone as he continued staring at Claire. Andrew got even angrier than before, as he once again told Bender to leave Claire alone. Bender challenged Andrew by asking if he’s going to make him. Andrew just told him “Yeah,” like a badass! Bender refused to back down and stepped on top of the table, onto a chair and right into Andrew’s face. Andrew told Bender that, if we weren’t in school right now, he would waste him. Claire demanded that they stop it and that they need to be more like me! Okay, that came out of nowhere. Bender laughed at this by asking if he should be more like a screw up who had to transfer schools! Claire explained that he should be a person who stands up to assholes instead of being one, which totally caught me off guard!

Claire ran to the back of the library sobbing.

After Claire complimented me like that, I had to go console her. I found her in the library stacks, crying her eyes out. All I could say was “hey,” and give her a tissue. It’s what the school counselor did when I started bawling. She took it and used it to dab her eyes. Claire said that her mascara must be a mess. I told Claire that she even looks good when she’s crying.

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She thanked me for saying that, then accused me of lying. I assured Claire that I’m not lying and admitted that I wish I looked half as good as her, which made Claire smile. Then I apologized for what happened back there. Claire said that it was okay and it wasn’t my fault. I said that it’s not fun being ganged up on. She just wiped away her tears and smiled at me. Claire said that, in a way, she gets where Bender and Allison (who must be the strange girl) are coming from. Then said that she knows she’s not some starving kid in Africa, she’s a rich girl from Shermer. I told Claire that just because she grew up with privilege doesn’t mean that her problems aren’t real. Claire thanked me for saying that and admitted that it does get hard sometimes, since it’s not fun for her being a pawn in her parents’ game. I joked that I thought she was the Queen, which got me a smirk from Claire. I admitted to Claire that I know what she means about her parents getting a divorce and told her about how my parents fight a lot. I even told her about the night my mom got drunk and asked me how I felt if she divorced my dad. Claire said that at least my parents care about me. I told Claire that my mom cares about me while my dad wouldn’t care if I lived or died. Claire reassured me that at least one of my parents care about me, which is one more than she has. It was my turn to smile. Then I asked Claire what the deal was with her and Bender. She asked what I meant and I explained that he’s always singling Claire out. Claire said that it’s because he’s a psychopath. I said that it could be because Bender likes her and felt a bit hurt. It grossed Claire out and she said that the very concept makes her retch! Hey, Bender’s not that awful! He might be a jerk but he’s still cute and I think I’m crushing on him. Dear God, I’d better not be crushing on him! Claire claimed that the only person Bender’s interested in is himself and maybe me. Then she gave me a teasing grin, which made me laugh. I told Claire that he’s not looking at me with her in the same room. Claire said not to be so sure and that I shouldn’t put myself down like that. Then she said that she knows we don’t really know each other, or anything, but she feels like we could be friends. I told Claire that it would be nice to be friends with the school’s princess rather than being the object of ridicule and then quickly added that I’m not using her or anything. Claire told me that it’s okay, she knows what I meant. Then thanked me for coming over to cheer her up and gave me a hug. I asked Claire if we should head back to the group. Then explained that, the way Bender and Andrew were going at it, we might have one less student by now. Claire agreed with me.

We returned to the group where, guess what, Andrew and Bender were still fighting. Andrew said that they should end this right now and told Bender that he doesn’t talk to Claire, he doesn’t look at her and he doesn’t even THINK about her.

Then asked Bender if he understands him. Bender claimed that he’s trying to help Claire. How, by harassing her and making her feel like shit? Andrew told Bender that he can help this and called him a brain-dead burnout! Bender was about to smack Andrew across the face but Andrew got the better of him and pulled Bender to the ground with a wrestling move, which Bender couldn’t break free from. Bender told Andrew that he didn’t want to get into this with him, but Andrew just shoved Bender further into the floor and then jumped to his feet. Andrew asked Bender why not and Bender got up and wiped his mouth and said that it’s because he’d kill him. Andrew shook his head. Then Bender elaborated further by saying that he’d kill Andrew and his parents would sue him and he doesn’t care enough about Andrew to bother.

Andrew called Bender chicken shit and turned and walked away. Then Bender pulled out a switchblade and stabbed it into a chair! What the fuck? I saw Allison eyeing the knife and pulled it out of the chair without even thinking! It’s just my luck that the library door opened and there was Vernon staring at me with a knife in my hand demanding to know what I was doing and I don’t know how the fuck I’m going to explain this one! Well, diary, it was nice knowing you but I think I just signed my death warrant.

A/N: So, what did you think?  If you want, you can also request recaps of interactive stories as well as requesting the love interest and anything else that’s important to the story.  For example, if you request High School Story from Choices, you can pick the love interest and the club your character joins!  The only exception is Series: Your Universe for reasons I mentioned in the first author’s note.  You also can’t request stories Titanic from Storyscape because I can’t change the name of the character or change her appearance.  You can RP in the comments, if you can figure out how to RP as this is a private diary.  I’m open to constructive criticism and, as this is my first time writing The Breakfast Club characters, I think I’m going to need it.

High School Story (IPhone App)

When you come across an abandoned lot, you decide to build your own high school.  Can you create the ideal place where everyone can just be themselves while fighting off the rival Hearst High?

I’ll be honest, the only reason I checked this game out is because I heard the Monster High characters would make cameo appearances.  However, let me say that I did not regret getting this game.  For those of you put off by the high school setting, let me tell you that it’s high school as it should be rather than how it actually is.  I told you that the Monster High characters make cameo appearances in the game and, let me tell you, it actually fits.  For those of you unfamiliar with Monster High, it’s about embracing all of the freaky flaws that make you who you are.  High School Story has a similar premise in that, no matter what clique you belong to, everyone will accept you for who you are.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a male cheerleader or a female nerd; nobody mocks you at this school.  Nerds hang out with jocks; preps can date gamers and so on.  Everyone has their own thing and, rather than being ostracized for it, the game celebrates the characters for it.

The game explores many themes such as the dangers of cyber-bullying and the discrimination girls face in the world of computers and video games.  One plot introduces an organization known as Girls Who Code dedicated to closing the gender gap in coding using the character Payton.  Another plot is about the girl gamer character, Sakura, and the prejudice she faces in MMORPGs for being a girl gamer.  I’ll admit that the game does sometimes run the risk of becoming an after-school special but they do so in very tolerable ways.  Some quests are just about the characters hanging out and having fun.  The game knows when to be funny and when to be serious.

The game play is similar to many simulation iPhone apps.  You send characters on quests and wait for them to finish.  The quests can take up to a few minutes to several hours, but the rewards are worth it.  You can collect books from the classroom, build dorms and collect money, send characters on dates and even party to get one of each type of classmate.

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Let me tell you that every type comes with a special side quest.  You can also build a library where you can meet a special character and complete vocabulary quests.

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However, like Hollywood U, once you finish the extra additions, the game begins to dull.  You just continue playing to see what goes on further in the plot.  I should also warn you that many of the extra additions cost money and, if you’re anything like me, you’ll want to experience everything this game has to offer.

This game is addictive and insightful.  I give it 7 out of 10; loses its appeal after a long while but worth checking out.

Endless Summer (Choices)

This is an unusual post because it’s not really a review as much as a recommendation. This game is one of my favorite Choices games due to having a great story, great characters and a huge mystery that’s up to you to solve. Your choices determine your relationships and if you can gather enough clues to solve the mystery of the island you’re stranded on. However, I warn you, completing the game 100% means you have to make in-app purchases.

I’ve made a decision to post more on my blog, but only post reviews once a week. From now on, I’ll be posting what I make in dollmakers, news about video games or board games, people’s Let’s Play videos and recommendations for interactive stories you can play on your phone. You can even give me dollmaker pictures you made, recommend Let’s Plays I can post and so on. Just make sure that what you suggest I post or recommend has something to do with either video or board gaming.

IT: Escape from Pennywise (IOS App Store)

Pennywise the Dancing Clown stalks you through the Neibolt House.  Can you escape the literal monster clown, or will you become IT’s lunch?

Ever since seeing IT in theaters, I’ve been obsessed with everything Stephen King.  Therefore, I had to get this game and let me say that I have a love/hate relationship with it, pun not intended.  When I first downloaded the game, all I could see was a black screen effect until the game crashed and took me back to the home screen.  Then I decided to play the VR experience on YOUTUBE, which is not the same thing but still succeeded in scaring me.

It wasn’t until days later that I was able to play it and, even then, I still had issues with the game crashing in mid-play.  It was a miracle for me to go through one single play through without a crash.  I can’t even count how many times I had to delete the game, turn off my phone, turn it back on after a few minutes and re-install the game.  I found this very frustrating.

I’m sure many people who are familiar with Stephen King know the story of IT.  The game’s adapted from the most recent IT film, which itself is adapted from the novel.  It’s about a clown that lurks in the sewers of Derry, Maine, luring children to IT’s feeding ground and swallowing them whole.  The clown can also take the form of your worst fears and I’ve been terrified of IT since I saw Tim Curry play the clown in the 1990 Mini-Series.  Let me tell you, Pennywise in the 2017 version is even scarier and seeing IT in VR is much worse.

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During my first attempts, I found myself too scared to play the game all the way through.  Then I started pulling my Google Cardboard away at frightening moments.  I found my heart pounding like mad when Pennywise would get a close up, similar to how I felt in the VR experience on YOUTUBE.  The game play itself is also rather simplistic as you hover over a door and wait for it to fully light up.  Unfortunately, this process takes awhile and destroys the game’s sense of urgency.  During the game, you also see clever nods to the movie such as Eddie’s leper and Pennywise appearing on TV in a kid’s show.  Be prepared for a huge let down as the game only has two endings and, no matter what door you pick, you’ll always end up in the same room.  The only difference is that, when you have to choose between the first three doors, you get a different experience each time.

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Then you have to choose between two doors, one that will get you out of the house and the other puts you in Pennywise’s clutches.  It feels less like a game and more like an advertisement for the Blu-Ray.

This game is scary and frustrating.  I give it 5 out of 10; it’s an amazing experience, but not worth all of the trouble you have to go through.

Hollywood U: Rising Star (iOS Store)

A mysterious benefactor offers you enough for Hollywood University, the most prestigious college for anyone who wants to make a living in show business.  Will you attend as a movie star, fashionista or a director?

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Even though Pixelberry abandoned this game for Choices, you can still download it on your smart phone or handheld device.  This game does have a story attached to it, such as finding out whom the mysterious benefactor is paying your way through Hollywood University.  You also have your own enemies to deal with in the form of Bianca and her father.  The MC and Bianca have a rivalry similar to Jem and Pizzazz from the 80s cartoon show.  However, there are two differences.  For instance, Bianca knows how to turn everyone against the MC and make herself look like the innocent victim.  This is something Pizzazz could never pull off.  The other difference is that the MC doesn’t get everything handed to her as Jem did.  He or she has to struggle through various obstacles in order to succeed.  Let me tell you, it gets rather tough.  I can’t recall how many times I’ve empathized with the MC and actually felt frustrated or upset with what he or she goes through.

The game does not shy away from certain issues found in Hollywood.  For instance, one of the characters, Addison, used to be a movie star until she had an affair with a director.  The director in question lied to her about leaving his wife and, when the affair became public knowledge, he lied by claiming that Addison seduced him.  However, if you ask me, even if his version turned out to be true, he’s still at fault.  These incidents happen in Hollywood with one example being Kristen Stewart’s casting as the title character in Snow White and the Huntsman.  The news reports revealed that the reason the director cast her is because of an affair.  Many people slut shame her though, since I don’t know the whole story, I won’t pass judgment.  I do know that it cost Kristen Stewart her job while they still kept the director.  Some people call a double standard but, personally, I believe that it’s because Kristen Stewart was more expendable.  I’m sure you can find many other stories of such instances all throughout Hollywood but, more often than not, people blame the woman and it ruins her career.

Another instance from real life the game drew inspiration from is Miley Cyrus in order to create the character of Lisa Valentine.  She is a former teen pop star who played the main character in a children’s show called Lisa Mermaid.  Now that Lisa’s all grown up, she goes out of her way to remind everyone of this, something her mother and manager disapproves.  While most works would portray Lisa’s mother as the sympathetic one and Lisa as the evil slut, this game does not fall victim to such thinking.  Instead, Lisa is the one in the right and the game implies that, if she wants to be a party girl, that’s her choice.  No one has any right to judge her for it.  As I said, the game drew inspiration from Miley Cyrus for this after her Hannah Montana days were far behind her.  Except I always suspected that her father encouraged her to act crazy in order to stay in the spotlight.  Now that Miley Cyrus is voicing one of the original Guardians of the Galaxy, I don’t think she needs to act crazy anymore.  I am not kidding; she voiced the robot in the credits teaser showing the original Guardians.

The game play is that of a typical smart phone game, with you assigning characters to task.  It can take up to 24 hours to finish tasks, so you’re free to clean house, do homework and take care of anything else while you wait.  I call it the video game version of the Crockpot.  You can also throw parties to attract certain character types and go on dates.  You can hook up various characters in Couples Corner and send the MC on dates in the Amour.  You can also purchase buildings and collect money.

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Oh, and those character types you collect from partying each come with their own side quests.  The game comes with many extras, such as A-Listers and side quests, but you have to pay in diamonds, which costs real money to purchase.  Let me tell you, the game is very addictive and you’ll want to see everything it has to offer.  After you’ve collected all the characters and done all of the side quests, the game loses most of its appeal.  By then, you just want to continue playing to see what happens in the story.

This game is addictive and intriguing.  It deserves 9 out of 10, emotionally affective but not enough for a full mark.

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood (iPhone App Store)

You’re just working a boring job as a sales clerk when Kim Kardashian shops at your store. At first, you thought it was just something you could brag about to all your friends until she offers you a modeling job. Can you keep up with the hassles of celebrity life?

That’s right; I downloaded a celebrity fashion game on my iPhone. As someone who fantasizes about celebrity life, I couldn’t resist. The game’s simplistic in its nature. You take job offers where you can get them and try to become the number one A-list celebrity. You can also go on dates and check your Twitter feed. Changing your outfit every now and then will also get you even more fans. After a while, you eventually get to number one and there’s no reason to play it anymore. I think they should add an update to where, if you don’t do anything for a while, you’re in danger of losing the number one spot. It would be motivation to keep playing.

This game is simplistic yet addictive. I give it 3 out of 10; nothing more than an escapist fantasy.

Tamagotchi Angel L.I.F.E. (iPhone App Store)

Following the 3 millionth download of the Tamagotchi L.i.f.e. app, Bandai Co., Ltd. and Sync Beatz Entertainment present the upcoming Tamagotchi L.i.f.e. Angel app, an updated recreation of the original Tamagotchi Angel digital handheld game. </p> <p>

Tamagotchi’s back and this time it’s an angel. Maybe you’ll raise this Tamagotchi to perfection. Maybe you’ll be the death of it.

That’s right; the iPhone released another version of the Tamagotchi. Just like the original, you feed it, play with it, clean its poop and turn off the light when it sleeps. Only differences are that you can feed it candy to increase its angel powers and, if you catch it praying, ring the bell to add to its deed meter. Unfortunately, the iPhone won’t alert you when that happens, so you might never catch your Tamagotchi praying.

This is the same concept as the original Tamagotchi. I give it 6 out of 10; like the original, you grow to care for this guy.

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