Suburban Timewaster

I play video games and review them.

Archive for the month “June, 2014”

Witch’s Pranks (Gamehouse.com)


When an ugly witch wants a handsome prince, she puts a curse on each one that rejects her, turning them into frogs. The only way to break the curse is a kiss from their fiancé. Fortunately, a traveler wanders across the witch’s castle and vows to return each prince to their one true love.

This is your typical parody fairy tale with every cliché you can imagine. The moral of this story seems to be ugly men can get whatever woman they want while ugly women have to settle for whoever will have them. Sadly, that’s a common double standard in this day and age. If you think I’m being unfair, take a look at what some the princes look like when they’re human and see that each one of them gets a beautiful princess, you’ll see what I mean. One thing I like about Once Upon A Time is that the characters would reject suitors that were attractive for the sole reason that this person wasn’t the love of their life.

The game play is your typical hidden object. You go from scene to scene collecting items for your inventory. You need to use these items to advance throughout the game and you will have to do some backtracking. If you’re stuck, use a hint.

This game is entertaining but the double standards are grating. I give it 5 out of 10; a fun take on fairy tales.

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Tamagotchi L.I.F.E. (iPhone App Store)


The beloved digital pet from the 90s is back and it’s on your phone. Take care of the little alien and make sure to keep it alive.

Even if you didn’t have a tamagotchi in the 90s, you probably had an equivalent. When I was a kid, I had two giga pets, a cat and a T-Rex. They never lived very long because I had to go to school and I couldn’t take the toys with me. There’s really not much of a plot to these things except an alien came to earth and you have to raise it. However, I will say one thing. While Tamagotchi’s popularity skyrocketed in Japan, it fell out of favor in the U.S. I don’t know if they brought these things to the iPhone to bring back its popularity or to give nostalgic adults like me a taste of their childhood.

The game play is the same as it was on the toy. You press the correct button to meet your Tamagotchi’s needs. If you don’t tend to the creature, it will die. You can pick which Tamagotchi you want between Generation 1 and Generation 2. As you play, you can unlock various wallpaper and shell designs. You also have two choices to play the app. You can play it as an actual app, by pressing the correct icon, or, if you’re feeling really nostalgic, play it in shell mode. In other words, tap the left button until you get to the icon you want and tap the confirm button to select it.

This game is not deep yet addictive. I give it 6 out of 10; you get attached to the Tamagotchi after a while.

Separatist Raid (The First Galactic Republic RP Event on Star Wars the Old Republic)

Instead of a review, I’m going to post an RP recap that The First Galactic Republic had a while back.  I know I said that I would only post reviews on my blog but Kayllan (The Guild Master) asked me to recap RP events on my blog as well.  Since my guild has been in trouble due to a mass defection that I can’t really talk about, I decided to agree to it.  RP events will be told from the point of view of the character I attended the event with.  This one will be from the point of view of my Trooper character, Ijeenesh.

This is Specialist Ijeenesh recapping raid on Separatist base led by Jedi Master Kayllan. Our mission was to destroy the main base of the Separatists. To do that, we first had to destroy their relay towers and jammers.

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It was a long trek but we managed to destroy their defenses, running into opposition from Separatist forces along the way. We arrived at Fort Garnik and continued trekking to our primary target, the beach, using the troopers for offense and the smugglers for defense.

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More Separatist forces tried to stop us but we, once again, emerged victorious. Once we made it to the main base, we encountered more opposition by Separatist forces. During the chaos, Colonel Therisia tried to hack into the Separatist main base. She proved unsuccessful so the Cartel Corp Smuggler Foreman, Xerxesian, had to accomplish the task and succeeded.

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During the mission, E-Liza was on the holocom about her mission to spy on Dromund Kaas (headquarters of the Sith Empire). According to her, the Sith want to take over Tython (the location of the main Jedi Temple) and use it as their own training facility. What will be done about this remains to be seen. Overall, the mission was a success and promotions followed.


When your roommate leaves you alone at a singles bar, it’s your opportunity to break out of your shell. Are you capable of handling a player lifestyle?

From the above paragraph, you’d think that you play as a guy stringing girls along when you actually get to pick your gender and string the opposite sex along. The plot is the same no matter what gender you pick. You get two phone numbers, you pick a person you want to live with and another you want to keep on the side while your ex blackmails you. I’ve played dating sims where you can pursue the same character no matter what gender you pick but there was one thing they did differently. While some of the dialogue was the same, the game changed key plot points in order for the path to better suit the character. For example, when romancing Isabella as Max in Roommates, you are the pursuer. When you romance Isabella as Anne, you are the one being pursued. It fits, not because of gender stereotyping, but because Max is a rebellious rock star wannabe while Anne is a shy bookworm trying to break out of her shell. I will say this, the makers of this game have no double standards. Why else would the plot play out exactly the same no matter what gender you choose to be?

The game play is just you making dialogue choices to the characters that talk to you. If you make the right ones, their affection goes up and you can go to the next scene. Make the wrong ones, and you have a game over. There are some extras in the game such as quizzes or a love test but you can look those up on the internet.

This game is a little entertaining but incredibly repetitive. I give it 4 out of 10; nothing more than an escapist fantasy.

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