Suburban Timewaster

I play video games and review them.

Archive for the month “November, 2012”

The Legend of Zelda Collector’s Edition Part 2: Zelda II-The Adventure of Link (Nintendo GameCube)

An evil wizard has cast a sleeping spell on Princess Zelda.  In order to awaken her, Link must travel to six palaces and return the rods to get the Triforce of Courage.  Unfortunately, minions of Ganon have set out to kill Link in order to revive their master.

All right, a few issues with the plot.  For one thing, the decree that Hyrule royal family name every daughter Zelda sounds very confusing.  What’s going to happen when the family has two daughters?  Do they just name them Zelda 1 and Zelda 2?  Another thing, I don’t get why Link’s blood is required to revive Ganon.  He seems to revive in every other game just fine without it.  The only explanation I can come up with is that Ganon’s minions have been secretly killing Link whenever he settles down with a family.  I get that the whole purpose of this plot point was to give Link enemies to fight but it makes no sense.  They would be constantly stalking him day in and day out never giving him a moment’s peace.  He wouldn’t be able to do anything without armed guards around him every day of his life.  In addition, what is Link doing in Zelda’s chamber?

I get that the game needed a place for him to start but there is no reason for him to be there.  At best, he’s admiring her beauty while she sleeps.  At worst, well, I really don’t want to think about it.

As for the game play, they pretty much took away everything that made it great.  Instead of solving puzzles, you have to fight your way through everything and if you’re anything like me, you will die quite often.  If you back out, you can’t gain levels.  You can also talk to people in town to gain magic, but you have to complete a quest first.  If you’re low on health, you can visit a woman in a red dress who will take you to her house and heal your wounds.

In other words, while many women have a crush on Link in Ocarina of Time, this is the game where he got the most action and I’m not talking about fighting monsters.  I don’t know if the makers were too naive to figure out what that was implying or this was their desperate attempt at fan service.  Don’t get me wrong, I can understand if hot animated characters arouse you but if a pack of pixels turns you on, please remove yourself from the gene pool.

I once had a very painful cramp in my foot.  Just when I thought it was gone, the pain came back double.  That is exactly how this game rolls.  I give it 0 out of 10; if you’re playing all the Zelda games, just skip this one.

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The Legend of Zelda: Collector’s Edition Part One- The Legend of Zelda (Nintendo GameCube)

In 2003, Nintendo released four Legend of Zelda games on one disc for the Nintendo GameCube.  The Legend of Zelda, Zelda 2: Link’s Adventure, Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask.  Each game has its own charm with the exception of Link’s Adventure but I’ll get to that later.

Hyrule’s in trouble, the evil Ganon has the Triforce of Power and is after the Triforce of Wisdom.  The princess Zelda has broken it into eight pieces and scattered the Triforce throughout the world.  Now it’s up to Link to reassemble the Triforce and rescue Zelda.

The game that started the Zelda franchise doesn’t really have a plot other than rescue the princess.  Still, I do like that even when captured Zelda takes an active role in the game.  If it weren’t for her, the Triforce of Wisdom would have been in Ganon’s hands and Hyrule would have been doomed from the start.

You aimlessly wander around the map and try to find the Triforce pieces located in eight dungeons.  Then you go to Ganon’s tower for the final battle.  You can also find heart containers, various upgrades for items and destroy enemies to get health and rupees.

Be sure to visit a fairy if you’re low on health.  In all honesty, I don’t get how anyone found anything in this game before the days of strategy guides.  There’s no one telling you where you’re supposed to go unless you count the few hints given by old people.  Once you get the hang of it, you can’t stop playing.

Despite the confusing system, I absolutely love this game.  I give it 6 out of 10, a perfect beginning to the Legend of Zelda.

Mystery Novel (Gamehouse.com)

A new crime editor for the paper sets his sights on the last crime his predecessor was working on.  It’s the mayor’s murder and why the killer didn’t get the death penalty.

The story is a mystery with elements of fantasy.  You go through room after room and collect items.

Sometimes you have to backtrack in order to advance throughout the story.  You have an unlimited number of hints but they take a while to recharge.  In the final battle, you have to collect all the objects before the villain does.

It’s fun but not the greatest game ever.  I give it 3 out of 10, just another way to kill boredom.

Cake Mania (Bigfishgames.com)

Jill recently graduated from culinary school and comes back home, hoping to take over her grandparents’ shop.  Unfortunately, they’ve already sold it to Mega-Mart.  Will Jill be able to make enough money to buy back the shop?

There’s not much to say about the plot.  The game play is an entirely different matter.  You bake a cake, frost it and sell it to the nearest customer.  First, you have to give the customers menus and wait for their order.  Between levels, you can purchase upgrades for the shop.  In order to advance throughout the game, you have to meet the level’s goal.

Did I mention that you only have four lives in the entire game?  You had better save, because if you run out you have to start all over.  Okay, not a whole lot to say about the game play either but it’s still more than you can say about the plot.

I find the game fun and addictive.  It also makes me crave cake.  I give it 8 out of 10, a perfect beginning to an amazing series.

Marooned 2: Secrets of the Akoni (Gamehouse.com)

Macy Black awakes on a different island face to face with her betrayer, Radimar, claiming to be in the same situation.  Is he telling the truth, or is he using her?

The plot got a little more interesting, but at the end it fell to the same cliché as the last one.

You don’t find out anything new and it leaves at a cliffhanger.  The surprise twist at the end didn’t really surprise me, and I thought it would be more interesting if that didn’t happen.

The game play is the same as the last one.  You go to different scenes and collect objects.

Some go to your inventory while others just disappear.  You have to use an item on a certain place in order to advance.  When you discover something, Macy writes notes in her journal.

The game is fun but like the last one, cliché.  I give it 3 out of 10, same old game with a new plot.

Kitchen Brigade (Bigfishgames.com)

You graduated from the cooking academy and you just won a million dollars to start your own restaurant.  Now you have to compete on the hit TV show Kitchen Brigade to prove that you really are the best chef around.

This is a spin-off of the Cooking Academy series.  It combines the typical elements of a time management game with that of Cooking Academy.

When serving customers, you can either make the dish yourself or you can give it to one of your chefs.

You can either upgrade the restaurant or get a new recipe in between levels.  Try to reach the level’s goal.  If you’re lucky, you can get expert.

This game is interesting and fun.  I give it 7 out of 10, a new take on Cooking Academy.

Dungeon Village (iPad)

You’re mayor of a small town hoping to make it a city.  In order to do so, you need to attract adventurers and convince them to make your place a permanent residence.

First, I’d like to give a shout out to NerdAtlas and Michael Dulson because if it weren’t for them, I never would have heard of Dungeon Village.  As for the game itself, there’s really not much of a plot and the structure is unique but simple.  Instead of being the one who goes on quests and battles monsters, you’re the one who builds the town

and funds the quest.

You increase the popularity so more adventurers will visit.  You also decide who gets the medal for the year.  Did I mention that you could host events for various stats?  You can also upgrade the town all the way to five stars, if it meets the requirements.  If an adventurer feels satisfied, they’ll choose to live in your town.

This game is fun and addictive.  I give it 6 out of 10, different but not amazing.

Girls will be Girls Movie Bundle Part 3: Mean Girls (Gamehouse.com)

You just joined high school and you have two paths you can take.  Will you become good or evil in this high school showdown?

I didn’t finish the game because it erases your progress if you take a break from it.  As for the movie, I’ve already seen this one courtesy of my sister.  It was ok, but my sister thought it was better than Spiderman 2, something I did not agree with.  The game follows the plot of the movie with a few differences if it didn’t fit.

The game play is a combination of an RPG and Match 3.  You give your character stats, battle to gain experience points and increase your level.  You can also do random battles and take on side quests.  During battles, you match different pictures to gain skills, whip your opponent, or gain your opponent’s loyalty.

This is the best out of the three, which is not saying much.  I give this game 5 out of 10, the only one where the makers used effort.

Overall, the entire bundle has some good points and some bad.  I give it 3 out of 10; I have no idea what possessed me to buy this game.

Girls will be Girls Movie Bundle Part 2: Clueless (Gamehouse.com)

Cher and her friends are on a shopping spree.  Their goal, to find the right outfits and get the attention of the boys they like.

Yes, this is as stupid as it sounds.  I actually watched the movie when I was a kid because my sister picked it out.  Ever since then, it’s been a guilty pleasure of mine.  For those of you that love movie facts, it’s actually a high school retelling of the Jane Austen novel Emma.  In this game, there’s no plot.  There’s some dialogue from the movie but it feels like it’s there for no legitimate reason.  In the game, you’re dressing up mannequins in a certain style.

No, I am not kidding, that is the entire game.  Usually I wait until I’ve finished the game before I review it, but it was so stupid that I made an exception.  Well, that and for some reason if you ignore the game for a long time it erases your progress, and I really didn’t feel like starting it all over.  On the bright side, I think I found a gift for my 7-year-old cousin.  Well, as long as I don’t tell her about the movie.

This game is stupid and a waste of time.  I give it 0 out of 10, a pointless dress me up game.

Girls will be Girls Movie Bundle Part 1: Pretty in Pink (Gamehouse.com)

This bundle includes three games, Pretty in Pink (hidden object), Clueless (time management) and Mean Girls (Match 3).  I watched all three of these movies just to write this review.  Yes, that is how far I go for my work.  I’m going to review each game separately in three different posts.

Pretty in Pink

            This is a hidden object retelling of the classic 80s movie Pretty in Pink.  Watch Andie deal with her best friend and secret admirer, Duckie, while struggling with her feelings for rich popular boy, Blane.

I’ve never seen this movie before buying this game.  Usually in movies like these, the popular boy turns out to be a jerk and the girl realizes that she truly loves her best friend.  In other words, she has to return her admirer’s affection with no say in the matter.  In this one, Andie actually gets a say.  If she doesn’t love Duckie then she doesn’t have to get with him.  The game also allows the player to choose in a very creative way.

During the game, you go through the standard hidden object scenes.  There is one complaint that is common about this; the scenes are so blurry that you can’t tell what the hell you’re collecting.

Sometimes you take part in a mini-game that you can just skip if you want.  If you fail to complete it correctly, it will let you start over.  Problem is, the game takes forever to do so.  You can also collect sports cars and toy ducks to determine Andie’s fate at the prom.  If I have to tell you which one represents which, then you just got back from a lobotomy.  Oh, and you can also design Andie’s prom dress.

The game is really not that great.  I give it 4 out of 10, a mediocre game for a pretty good movie.

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