Suburban Timewaster

I play video games and review them.

Heileen

Heileen’s uncle just received stock to take to the New World. On the journey, Heileen meets many interesting people and discovers what secrets her uncle has been hiding from her.

This one is nowhere near as good as it sounds. It’s just some spoiled girl whining on a trip, and yet everyone wants her, even the women. I know, you’re probably thinking “homosexuality in 17th Century England, no way!” Yes, there actually is, and the characters are a little too open about it. Before I get over a hundred comments telling me that homosexuality did exist in the 17th Century, I’m not saying that it didn’t. I’m just saying that due to very strong bigotry, you wouldn’t find many open homosexuals walking the streets. No, that is not the only historical inaccuracy they committed in this game. I don’t really know that much about the 17th Century, but I do know that according to this article, some behavior we regularly take part in today would be considered crude in that time period. The characters partake in this behavior regularly, especially Lora. There are some references to historical events in the 17th Century, but the characters behave like they live in this time period. It’s very much like the Sherlock Holmes movies starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, only without their charm driving the movie.

The characters themselves are not intriguing in the slightest. Despite Heileen’s whining, she’s loved by everyone on the ship. Come to think of it, that’s actually believable considering that the only other women on the ship are Lora, her uncle’s mistress, and Marie, who does not meet the standards of 17th Century beauty. It’s hinted that Marie is such a reject that she’s not even considered to be worthy of rape. Just so this review doesn’t become long and boring, I’m just going to sum it up in one sentence. Rape is not about beauty, it’s about power. Not to mention that Marie isn’t even that ugly. Sure, she doesn’t meet the standards of 17th Century beauty like Heileen does, and she doesn’t wear as little as Lora, but she’s not completely hideous. No wonder Marie has so many emotional issues. As for Heileen, I said earlier that it’s believable that she would be the most sought after on the ship. However, that does not explain why everyone is completely in love with her. Anyone who hates her is automatically labeled evil. The other characters Heileen can have a romance with are John and Lora. John is the bad boy sailor that Heileen’s drawn to, and I can see that. I just don’t see how she can fall in love with him in such a short amount of time. As for Lora, I’ve already said that she’s Heileen’s uncle’s mistress, so she and her uncle watched Heileen grow up. Yes, that’s right, Heileen hooks up with a woman who has been a parental figure to her. Anyone else thinks it sounds like lesbian wife husbandry?

The story is not historically accurate and the main character is a Mary-Sue. However, it’s still an interesting play through. I give this game 2 out of 10.

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